My Child Destroyed My Semicolon Key (And Other Things That Happened This Weekend)

Sunday evening, when we finally emerged from confinement.

On Friday night, Kendrick and I dropped our children off with a handful of angels - a.k.a. our son's martial arts teachers, who were holding a "pizza and movie night" for all the kids (siblings welcome) so the parents could go out on their own for a couple of hours. We immediately booked it over to Outback Steakhouse, because I officially have reached the point in my life where I want to go to the place that lets me eat steak the exact way I want to eat it and where nobody cares if I'm wearing a sweatshirt that says Ugh Fine on it and where you can order a single dessert that contains slices of cheesecake, carrot cake, and something called "The Chocolate Thunder From Down Under" (you know, so we can have "just a taste" of each).

We had one of the more lovely and romantic nights we've had in awhile, actually. And then, around 9PM, while I was puttering around waiting for Kendrick to arrive back home after having picked up the kids, it ended.


In Which I Explain The Cloud To My Five-Year-Old

“A Persian Cat living in the sky” is an equally plausible explanation.

Every so often, when trying to explain something to my children, I am struck by the degree to which the world of technology has outpaced my ability to sound like an adult who knows things. Even TV is beyond me. "See, people stand in front of a camera, and then their pictures and voices go onto a...sort of like a piece of tape? And then that goes into a...like, a TV station, and they...tell the picture to go into...space. And then it comes onto your TV. Get it?"

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my friend Stephen, and complaining about the fact that every time I have to do anything on my phone I have to first delete everything I possibly can (apps, any and all photos that I'm at least relatively unemotional about, etc). And he said, "Have you put them on the Cloud?"


So Fishy: A(nother) Valentine’s Day Solution For Last-Minute Moms

Remember Monday's post about potato-stamp Valentine's Day cards? The ones you can make with your kids minus the miserable stroll through the craft-store aisles? The inspiration behind it was what you see here: my daughter was napping and all of a sudden my son announced that he was willing to make Valentines for his classmates, and I had exactly two seconds to conceive of a doable plan before losing him to the living room rug, where the epic battle between Mini Cons and random dragon figurines that my mother bought at the Met had finally been put on pause for a moment.

And so this is what I decided to do: help him make school (of fish! whee, puns!)-themed Valentines that ticked all of my personal boxes: inexpensive (check), easy (check), witty (eh, sort of), and (seemingly) original (checkity check check check).

(It is not lost on me that I have an addiction to parentheticals. Moving on.)


Potato-Stamp Valentines: A DIY For Procrastinators (Like Me)

What's more fun than painting potatoes? NOTHING.

My feeling about Valentine's Day, in a nutshell: I want to be all "Ooh! A teachable moment wherein my child can learn the value of giving and receiving love, albeit via paper cutouts!" But I also do not want to put any real effort into the Valentine's Day-celebrating process, because few things are less fun than dragging two children through Rite Aid in search of something - anything - that doesn't have a picture of a Minion and "You're One In A Minion!" written on it.

Regardless of your personal attitude towards Valentine's Day, here is a fact: When you have a kindergartener, you have to help him or her make and distribute Valentines, because that's in the contract you sign when you procreate. Fortunately for the begrudgingly-participatory Valentine's Day celebrators among us, I have a friend named Mollie who is about as interested in fussy DIYs as I am...and yet seems to be always creating beautiful things. When I want to look like a crafty genius (but don't want to, you know, try too hard), it is Mollie to whom I turn - and so it only made sense to ask her to start publishing her (actually completely for-real accessible) ideas to RG.


Me, In The Mirror

Jacket (similar) | Women's March Tee | Joggers

I've said it over and over, but love Instagram Stories. I love that I seriously do not care what my bedroom looks like behind me (ok mayyyyyybe I sometimes frame out things like, say, an uncomfortably enormous pile of dirty laundry or a glass of wine left over from the night before so no one thinks I'm drinking wine at 8:30 in the morning while living in a hovel, but still).

I love that I get to post the kinds of outfit shots I used to post way back when I started this whole thing: the ones I took myself in a mirror, because what, like I was going to hire a photographer?! Hahahaha. (Totally hire photographers now.)


We Made A Movie

A few days ago, my son and I were in the car and decided to pass some time by coming up with a story together. There was a guy. A pirate. And he had a dog named Lucy. And then there was this other pirate. And so on.

When we got home, I thought I'd show him what a "storyboard" was (it's basically a series of - usually sketchily drawn - images that shows you every frame of a commercial/tv show/movie and how it'll be shot). Once we had the storyboard, it made sense to start putting together costumes. And once we had the costumes, well...

We obviously had to make a movie.


Completely Random (And Amazing) Discoveries You Need To Know About

I keep a running list of things I want to write about on RG. Some of the things I jot down never end up turning into posts either because I jotted them down in the middle of the night and they make no sense in the light of day, or because I realize that they're terrible and/or tragically mortifying ideas. As an example of the latter, one of the notes in my phone right now says, "Order Thinx period underpants & test-run for post." This does not seem like an especially advisable life choice.

The post ideas that give me the most trouble, though, are the ones that I like but don't really merit a full-length post, or the ones that I like but have no idea how to talk about in long-form without sounding even weirder than I usually do. Except my current list of cool stuff I want to mention is getting annoyingly long, and I'm starting to realize that I'm not going to suddenly be struck with an elegant way to introduce the topic of, say, foot-shaving, because an elegant way to introduce the topic of foot-shaving does not exist.

So here we go. Five things I'm all about right now that have absolutely nothing to do with each other save for the fact that you really need to know about them all.