Posts Under: DIARY

DIARY

Accidents Happen

I have always been the kind of person who worries a lot about money, to the point where it's a preoccupation. Sure, a lot of this is because I've always had a job that comes along with significant uncertainty - I never know what the next year (or even the next month) of my life will look like, financially speaking - but still: for years and years (until pretty recently, actually), I made my life far more stressful than it had to be by putting off the decision to come up with an actual plan.

When things are going well - money's coming in, no major unexpected expenses are popping up - it's easy to sail along in a happy bubble of obliviousness; I know this first-hand, because I've spent a lot of time hanging out in that bubble. But then - inevitably - the bubble pops. And you find yourself in a world of pain.

As an example, I thought I'd tell a story I'm not sure I've ever touched upon here, even though I've certainly been asked about it plenty over the years. (Spoiler: it's about my dog. But stay with me; I'm going somewhere with this.)

DIARY

Potential Avalanches And Cream Cheese Pie

Sooooooo the plan for today was to leave San Jose around 9AM and arrive at our friend's place in Lake Tahoe around noon for a couple of days of snowboarding and fireplace-lounging and such. But if you follow me on IG stories or Snapchat, you know that 9PM (mmhmm, a solid TWELVE HOURS after we commenced this little adventure) found us not just "still on the road"...but quite literally still. On the road. Like not moving at all. And then we did that for two hours while we waited for the snow to clear enough for us to go through the pass.

(Obviously this ended up being the best part of the entire day, because we specialize in travel disasters and have, over the years, learned how to make traffic jams into awesome dance parties.)

But back to the semi-stranded-in-a-snowstorm thing: I had thought I had left disastrous, gnome-killing, angel-summoning weather behind me in New York, but this thing that's currently hitting California - which is, so you're aware, called a bombogenesis (really, and yes that is now officially my favorite word ever) is giving the East Coast a run for its money. Right this very moment, for example, my backyard fence is located in my pool. There is a greenish, shredded, cloth-like substance carpeting my driveway that I think used to be our patio umbrella, but I can't be certain. And let's not forget the many, many hours we spent tonight staring up at 200-foot-tall snowdrifts barely clinging to the sides of mountains, and replaying select scenes from Alive in our heads.

DIARY

My Child Destroyed My Semicolon Key (And Other Things That Happened This Weekend)

Sunday evening, when we finally emerged from confinement.

On Friday night, Kendrick and I dropped our children off with a handful of angels - a.k.a. our son's martial arts teachers, who were holding a "pizza and movie night" for all the kids (siblings welcome) so the parents could go out on their own for a couple of hours. We immediately booked it over to Outback Steakhouse, because I officially have reached the point in my life where I want to go to the place that lets me eat steak the exact way I want to eat it and where nobody cares if I'm wearing a sweatshirt that says Ugh Fine on it and where you can order a single dessert that contains slices of cheesecake, carrot cake, and something called "The Chocolate Thunder From Down Under" (you know, so we can have "just a taste" of each).

We had one of the more lovely and romantic nights we've had in awhile, actually. And then, around 9PM, while I was puttering around waiting for Kendrick to arrive back home after having picked up the kids, it ended.

DIARY

In Which I Explain The Cloud To My Five-Year-Old

“A Persian Cat living in the sky” is an equally plausible explanation.

Every so often, when trying to explain something to my children, I am struck by the degree to which the world of technology has outpaced my ability to sound like an adult who knows things. Even TV is beyond me. "See, people stand in front of a camera, and then their pictures and voices go onto a...sort of like a piece of tape? And then that goes into a...like, a TV station, and they...tell the picture to go into...space. And then it comes onto your TV. Get it?"

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my friend Stephen, and complaining about the fact that every time I have to do anything on my phone I have to first delete everything I possibly can (apps, any and all photos that I'm at least relatively unemotional about, etc). And he said, "Have you put them on the Cloud?"

DIARY

(How To) Break On Through

Here's the question that's on my mind - and so many other people's minds - lately: What do we do now?

Yes, the Women's March was incredible; yes, more people showed up than anyone could have imagined; yes, it's clear that millions of people are ready and willing to fight back...but still, the question remains: How do we keep going? Especially in the face of the tidal waves of news stories that wash over us every morning, alerting us to the fact that yes, once again THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING A PERSON CAN DO HAS BEEN DONE? (I've actually started trying to internally narrate my morning news consumption using John Oliver's voice, because every single day opens with "Here is a decision that must be made, and the options are a) Goodness and Light, and b) Death and Hellfire," and virtually every time the answer is "Well, B, OBVIOUSLY. Why? Because...hey, look over there! Is that Ivanka in a cute dress?! THE BABY IS CRAWLING!"