Posts Under: DIARY


My Child Destroyed My Semicolon Key (And Other Things That Happened This Weekend)

Sunday evening, when we finally emerged from confinement.

On Friday night, Kendrick and I dropped our children off with a handful of angels - a.k.a. our son's martial arts teachers, who were holding a "pizza and movie night" for all the kids (siblings welcome) so the parents could go out on their own for a couple of hours. We immediately booked it over to Outback Steakhouse, because I officially have reached the point in my life where I want to go to the place that lets me eat steak the exact way I want to eat it and where nobody cares if I'm wearing a sweatshirt that says Ugh Fine on it and where you can order a single dessert that contains slices of cheesecake, carrot cake, and something called "The Chocolate Thunder From Down Under" (you know, so we can have "just a taste" of each).

We had one of the more lovely and romantic nights we've had in awhile, actually. And then, around 9PM, while I was puttering around waiting for Kendrick to arrive back home after having picked up the kids, it ended.


In Which I Explain The Cloud To My Five-Year-Old

“A Persian Cat living in the sky” is an equally plausible explanation.

Every so often, when trying to explain something to my children, I am struck by the degree to which the world of technology has outpaced my ability to sound like an adult who knows things. Even TV is beyond me. "See, people stand in front of a camera, and then their pictures and voices go onto a...sort of like a piece of tape? And then that goes into, a TV station, and they...tell the picture to go And then it comes onto your TV. Get it?"

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to my friend Stephen, and complaining about the fact that every time I have to do anything on my phone I have to first delete everything I possibly can (apps, any and all photos that I'm at least relatively unemotional about, etc). And he said, "Have you put them on the Cloud?"


(How To) Break On Through

Here's the question that's on my mind - and so many other people's minds - lately: What do we do now?

Yes, the Women's March was incredible; yes, more people showed up than anyone could have imagined; yes, it's clear that millions of people are ready and willing to fight back...but still, the question remains: How do we keep going? Especially in the face of the tidal waves of news stories that wash over us every morning, alerting us to the fact that yes, once again THE ABSOLUTE WORST THING A PERSON CAN DO HAS BEEN DONE? (I've actually started trying to internally narrate my morning news consumption using John Oliver's voice, because every single day opens with "Here is a decision that must be made, and the options are a) Goodness and Light, and b) Death and Hellfire," and virtually every time the answer is "Well, B, OBVIOUSLY. Why? Because...hey, look over there! Is that Ivanka in a cute dress?! THE BABY IS CRAWLING!"


What To Do During A Power Outage (In Los Angeles)

When the power goes out on the East Coast, everybody rolls their eyes and gets Chinese takeout and goes out to a bar or to bed. When the power goes out on the West Coast, there is widespread panic and people floating down streets in duck rafts. Having been suddenly detached from social media and television and, Los Angelenos sit paralyzed in the center of their darkened living room floors, asking themselves life's greatest question:

...What do I do now?

Last night, as you know if you follow me on Snapchat or IG stories, our power went out, along with the power of...ohhhhh....everybody in LA, apparently.