Ten Things Getting Divorced Has Taught Me (So Far)

This is a place I can tell you - from the bottom of my heart - that I never, ever thought I'd be. I grew up with parents who were married, and still are. My friends' parents - nearly all of them - were married, and still are. Kendrick's parents too. Married. For life.

So even though divorce is apparently something that happens to half the couples out there (at least), I never thought it would happen to me. Because I never saw divorce as an option; not even close. No matter how bad things got - and from time to time, they did get there - I honestly couldn't imagine ever pulling the trigger, so to speak. I imagined saying those words as the equivalent of setting off a bomb in the very center of our home: an unthinkable. A tragedy.

And then I did just that. Blew us to pieces.


In Which I Discover The Gloriousness That Is Cardi B.

cardi b fashion nova collection

OK, so I don't exactly know who Cardi B. is. I know she's a singer, but couldn't tell you any of her songs. I have a vague memory of her being a...Real Housewife, maybe? Or some kind of reality person? And then...getting in a fight with...someone? Who didn't think she should be a singer?



All My Thanksgiving-ish Recipes, In One Handy Post

Thanksgiving centerpiece by The Bouqs

This Thanksgiving, I will be in New York, with my parents. My own children will be in Ohio with Kendrick and his family, and so this year - for the first time in god knows how long - it'll be just the three of us again, sitting around the table that we sat around every night of my childhood. My dad will rag on my mom for the turkey being too dry. My mom will dress up for dinner (but just a little). I will definitely screw up the Brussels sprouts.

I'm not sad about it, not exactly. Thanksgiving has always been sort of a crapshoot holiday for us - sometimes we're with Kendrick's family, sometimes we're with mine, sometimes we're with friends (and if you're wondering whether looking at those posts I just linked to made me cry, the answer is: yes. obviously). So it's not like there are any huge traditions that we'll be breaking (Christmas is another story; I can't even go there right now).


Kids’ Rooms (In Progress)

Pendant Lamp | Table | Blanket | Bed | Rug

Here is a nice - but also slightly vexing - thing about my kids' new bedrooms: They are huge. Like, twice the size of their last ones. (Thank you, Gods Of Real Estate That Isn't Located In Silicon Valley.)

And like I said, that's nice, and they love them, but those cavernous, popcorn-ceilinged (why) rooms presented a bit of a decorating conundrum...which was compounded by the fact that on moving day, I discovered that neither of their beds could be removed from their old bedrooms without being disassembled. And since both of those beds were from Ikea (his; hers) and thus required Herculean disassembly and reassembly abilities, and because the idea of having to do all that Herculean dis- and re-assembling on the exact same day in which I was upending my entire life was less-than-appealing, I just sort of...left them there. (Kendrick came and got them later; don't worry, I didn't bequeath The Ikea Problem to the new owners.)

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I Think We’re Done Here

View from my backyard, Friday morning.

Honestly, you guys. You'd think that by this point 2018 would have, as my mother would say, had the biscuit. Except the hits just keep on coming.

So here's what the last couple of days have looked like (and please scroll to the bottom if you want to skip hearing The Tale Of My Weekend, and just want to find out how to help those who have been seriously impacted by the events in California over the past week). I started hearing reports about the fires as I was driving home on Thursday night. By Friday morning, the view from my backyard was that picture you see up there: a huge ball of smoke that just kept growing and growing and growing, getting wider and taller and darker with each passing hour. Planes flying directly overhead carrying water and emergency rescue supplies. The whole deal.


Loud House

Me, in the bedroom that's just mine. (Image by @smiechbuziak)

When I think about the first time I lived in LA - right after college, when I moved out here to look for acting work - there's rarely anyone else there, in those memories. It wasn't like I spent all my time alone - I had friends, and I had my boyfriend - but most of the time, whether by choice or not...I was. Me, at the do-it-yourself car wash, feeding quarters into the soap machine. Me, driving north towards Santa Barbara, then turning around when I got there and driving right back. Me, wandering through the Fairfax Farmer's Market. Buying a donut, just to have a thing to do.

I was so lonely.

Makeup & Beauty

How To Have The Skin Of A 35-Year-Old (In 17 Easy Steps!)

Above: Jordan in a leather minidress massaging a box of french hand creams for work. Below: Me, trying to imagine what it’s like to be Jordan, lovingly gazing at a half-empty bottle of face toner.

by Erin

I’m one of those almost-40-year-old middle class white feminists who eschews the patriarchy but then spends like 5% of my income on skincare. Don’t tell me to smile, but if I do, know that 15 tons of retinol is keeping the trout mouth at bay. Is that what retinol even does? Actually, I have no idea. You should probably take beauty advice from me.

Makeup & Beauty

Native’s Brand-New Body Washes & Bar Soaps Are Just As Great As You’d Expect

My friend Alisa has been trying to convince me to switch to natural deodorant for years. And for years, I have resisted despite the fact that I know that the aluminum in many deodorant brands has been linked to a host of illnesses, including breast cancer, because my only experiences with natural deodorants have been…shall we say, less than ideal. (OK, they were terrible. I have no idea how a deodorant can actually make you smell worse, but there you go.) 

But I’ve been hearing about Native Deodorant for awhile now - it’s one of those cult items that everyone who’s into natural products is all aflutter about. I posted about it on Instagram, asking whether anyone had tried it, and was stunned by the outpouring of love for the brand. So I tried it myself, and now I get it. It just…works. It’s great. And I especially love that the scents are subtle and unisex; I like the idea that one brand can work for the entire family (not that I’d share my deodorant with a man, but that’s another story). 

Just A Little Encouragement

Money Talk

Whee, responsibility!

I hired a financial planner, and it is already changing my life, and so I am going to take a minute to explain why I think you should maybe do the same.

OK, so I have a very emotional relationship with money. A lot of people do, I imagine, but the extent to which my financial situation in any given moment has an immediate and profound effect on my mental state in that moment is kind of overwhelming. Literally, it goes like this: Book job --> happy. Do not book job --> utterly panicked, fully devastated, and completely incapable of taking a step back to realize that I've gone ahead and made the hustling lifestyle work for a solid fifteen years now, and will almost certainly continue to make it work going forward, because that's just common sense.

Real Talk

Halloween Fails: A Retrospective

This year, we will be doing the trick-or-treating thing with my friend Shannon and her family. I will be wearing my skull shawl, because skulls. My son will be in a Spiderman costume from Target, and my daughter will be in a Tinkerbell costume she ordered off of Amazon, and I have a feeling it will be slightly lower-key than it has been in past years, but also, it will be...


...you know. Halloween. Which means I am about to witness what pure joy in 7-year-old and 4-year-old form looks like. I may be exhausted already in anticipation, but I'm also (ssh) pretty excited.

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