My Holiday Party Dress Search: A Mission That Failed

Here's what I wore to my friend's holiday party last weekend: a black velvet Betsey Johnson jumpsuit from 1998 that I stole from my mom, a black wrap coat I found at Zara that I can't wear without everyone asking me whether I'm wearing a robe, Gwen Stefani-circa-1992 buns, and black lipstick.

It was a Goth-themed holiday party, in case you can't tell; which was wonderful for lots of reasons, one of which was that I didn't have to go shopping for a holiday party dress - because of all the looks in the world, Goth is one I have a decent amount of familiarity with thanks to about three years in the '90s when I thought Fairuza Balk's character in The Craft was pretty much as cool as it gets.

So I didn't need a holiday dress for that party. But I have a few events coming up in the next couple of weeks, including a little cocktail party I'm hosting for stella and dot at my place, and I'd like to look festive-ish. Perhaps some sparkles. Red? Maybe a fancy neckline? ...Heels? (Probably a no on that last one, but you never know.)


Stop the Presses, Because FREEZY FREAKIES ARE BACK


If you don't know what Freezy Freakies are...well, that makes me feel old. But if you DO know what Freezy Freakies are, you are having a minor heart attack (the good kind) right now. I know this because that's what happened to me when I passed a little gift stand on my way to my mom's office yesterday afternoon and caught a glimpse of a Freezy Freakies display out of the corner of my eye. I instantly screeched to a full stop like a Bugs Bunny cartoon (or, if we're being generationally thematic, a Tiny Toon Adventures character).

I have so many feelings about these things. We're talking intense, visceral sense memories, wherein I can actually physically revisit the joyful experience of watching the invisible unicorn appear out of thin air. (Freezy Freakies are made using thermochromic ink, which is translucent when warm, and turns bright colors when cold. But we can pretend it's just straight-up magic; that's more fun.) 



I put these images up on my Instagram today as part of a collaboration with Chapstick (featuring their Total Hydration Moisture + Tint that is the perrrrrrfect balance of moisture and sheer color, and their lip scrub, which is making my ludicrously dry lips much, much happier these days). They make me happy and I'm missing this guy today, so I wanted to put them here, too. (Also, have any other parents noticed that once you have children you never again have a photo of just the two of you? Like, ever? It's kinda nice that once in awhile I my job gives me an excuse to take one.)

Photos by Kim Ebbets.

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…At Least There Were Muffins?

Christmas trees! And MUFFINS! Glorious.

This year, the decorating process was a little…ahh…rough. I’d spent the entire previous day flat on my back with the plague, and when I emerged from my cave-bedroom I wasn’t exactly a bundle of joy. But ornaments and lights have a way of making you feel - if not “peppy,” perhaps - certainly festive.

As do muffins.


The Three Most Swoonworthy Doors In The Whole Wide World

kim lewis for rustica hardware door designs

Mood board by Kim Lewis of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Remember my sliding barn door from Rustica Hardware? The one I installed when we first moved in and discovered that the master bathroom sink was located directly next to where our heads would be when we were sleeping (ew)? It remains one of my favorite design features in our house to this day, and so when I decided that I wanted to turn our garage into a multipurpose room that would significantly expand our square footage, I asked Kim Lewis - who recently designed the most spectacular collection of statement doors for Rustica Hardware - if she'd be willing to help me figure out which ones would work best in the space.

What I wanted: An industrial-style sliding door to separate the laundry room from the rec room part of the garage, and then a second door separating the garage from the dining room area (the one there now is just a standard white door, and I felt like this was an opportunity to communicate that what's behind the door is worth seeing). The problem: the two doors will be located in close proximity to each other, so they have to communicate a similar vibe without being...the same.


Let’s Have A Chat With Extreme Makeover: Home Edition’s Kim Lewis

This is Kim Lewis. You might recognize her from Extreme Makeover: Home Editionor Tiny House Nation. I would like to borrow a) her hair, b) her wardrobe, and c) her freckles, but - most importantly - I would also like to borrow her decor opinions, because I love a good door...and the doors that she designed for Rustica Hardware miiiiiight just be the best. Like, in the world.

Kim worked with me to help pick out the perfect doors to install in our not-quite-yet renovated garage  - you can see her selections here - and while I had her ear I thought I'd take the opportunity to ask her a few questions about how to incorporate super-bold design elements into your decor...and play the Match-the-Kardashian-to-the-Door game (it's a classic).

Hi, Kim! I obviously think you're fabulous and need to discuss all your fabulousness for posterity. Tell me a little about how you got to the designing-awesome-doors part of your life?


The Massive Hairball

Both times that I have been With Child, I have gotten anonymous emails and comments that let me know that I'M NOT FOOLING ANYONE WHY AM I NOT ADMITTING THAT THOSE ARE EXTENSIONS YOU'RE SUCH A LIARRRRRR.

(I've never had extensions before. I just had really good hair when I was pregnant. I am so sad that this appears to be a pregnancy-specific situation.)

(Oh wait - I sort of had extensions. Not real ones; clip-in ones that I used to wear when I went to places like bars circa 2009, and that frequently ended up in my purse by the end of the evening, perhaps most notably on the night when Kendrick and I first kissed and he started to run his hands through my hair and I was all Ummmmm ONE SECOND PLEASE, and ran to the bathroom, whereupon I unclipped my fake hair and stuffed it into my bag.)


Just Go Buy This Jacket OK?

This one.

I went to the mall the other day for a very specific reason: to get a new prescription from Lenscrafters, because I feel like my eyes are becoming increasingly decrepit and it's time for new glasses.

I was NOT there to shop. I am 99% done with my Christmas shopping because that is literally the one thing in my life that I am always spectacularly on top of, and I am broke from house renovations, and besides: actually shopping in shopping malls gives me a headache (I prefer to visit them for the purpose of sitting in a dark room for a couple of hours with the biggest bucket of popcorn possible). And I REALLY was not there to shop at Hollister, because Hollister stores make me feel old (whyyyyyyyy must the music be so loud?).


All I Do Is Win, Win, Win, Win, Win

At some point, I think it is crucial that we recognize the limits of our parenting, embrace them, and act accordingly.

One way to do this: by opening the refrigerator, observing the vast quantity of potential dinner ingredients therein...and then shutting the door, turning on the oven, and making pizza (and calling the tomato sauce on top of it a vegetable because CLEARLY it is, and also everybody loves pizza and so nobody fights about what’s for dinner and for a single glorious moment, life is calm).

(Also please go ahead and serve that pizza on paper plates because kids do not appreciate pretty dishes and also do not wash them unless they are of sink-reaching height and more amenable to the concept of chores than oh, say, my children.)