Not To Be Paranoid…But DON’T LOOK AT THE SUN, Y’ALL

I am not the target audience for a solar eclipse. I mean, I imagine they're cool and all, and hooray for once-in-a-lifetime experiences, but in no version of reality am I loading up a camper and hoofing it over to Oregon so I can battle people who are far better suited for post-apocalyptic survival than I am for gas and water. I mean, I'm pretty sure Bachelor In Paradise is going to be amazing tomorrow night. Priorities.

But here's the thing that's been freaking me out the past couple of days: I am not a fundamentally ignorant human with zero knowledge of astronomical events and their potential repercussions....and yet I can totally imagine myself forgetting about this whole "solar eclipse" thing - because while it's technically a big deal, I guess, it's not an especially big deal to me, for whatever reason - and meandering down the street around 10AM tomorrow morning, then noticing that it's getting dark and cloudy and going "Hm, that's odd!"...and then looking up to see what's going on, and whoopsie: now I'm blind.

This sounds un-fun, to say the least.


I Totally Made A Table

OK, so here's how this small miracle happened. First, I bought a kitchen island. Then the kitchen island arrived and I didn't like it, and it also didn't function the way I needed it to (meaning as a sort of counter/bar), because I had neglected to notice that there was a piece of metal right there in the spot where a person's legs were theoretically supposed to go.

So I looked everywhere online, and everything I found was either not my style or too expensive or too clunky or too something, until I happened upon a Pinterest photo of an Urban Outfitters counter-height table with legs that looked like plumbing pipes. It was about $80, and exactly what I wanted. It was also not available anywhere on the Internet at all, except for via one Etsy vendor who was pretending that it was vintage (it is not) and selling it for around $400. Nope.

Then I looked at the picture of the table more closely, and realized that the legs that "looked like plumbing pipes" were pipes. Like, the kind that you can get at a hardware store. I started thinking that I might like to try making something like that myself, but couldn't figure out what to do for a tabletop...until I remembered that several months ago my friend Alisa had offered me a gorgeous quartz remnant - white, with sparkles - that I'd declined because I had no idea what I would do with it.


Game On

It has begun. The school year officially started just four days ago (and yes, I too am completely perplexed by the fact that public schools - at least out here - now open in mid-August), and we’re all still…shall we say, “finding our legs”?

There’s a little bit of chaos in the mornings. But also a lot of excitement, so that’s good.


An Ode To My Couches

...It happened again.

If you've been reading Ramshackle Glam for awhile now, you may have noticed that I have what could be called a "mild couch fixation" (or, as Kendrick refers to it, "Jesus, Jordan, what's wrong with the couch we already have?!")

(Oh, hush.)

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Moana Party, Our Way (A Little Less “Disney” And A Lot More “Luau”)

I am 100% on board with every single thing about the movie Moana - seriously, THANK YOU Disney for fiiiiiinally giving us a heroine that we can all get our daughters on board with - and was more than happy to make my daughter's third birthday party Moana-themed, per her request. I was not, however, super psyched about the idea of making my house look like the Summer Blowout aisle at Party City. I mean, surely there was a way to evoke the whole Polynesian-adventure thing without breaking napkins decorated with The Rock (or at least his animated counterpart). ...No?

Here's how we de-Disneyfied our Moana party (while still making all those three-year-old dreams come true).


Oh Dear.

This is what my computer screen looks like at the moment. (To be specific, this is what it looks like in a good moment - the enormous vertical black line is occasionally replaced with a blinking series of skinnier rainbow lines, plus the occasional screen flicker and a thankfully-more-occasional-but-fucking-terrifying-regardless melt-effect, during which all of the letters on the screen actually fall down on the screen.)

So I'm going to need a little extra time to get today's blog post up, because I need to go panic at the Apple store for a couple of hours, or possibly weeks.

In the meantime, let me leave you with the below evidence that truly next-level photobombing skills can, in fact, be something a person is capable of displaying at the ripe old age of three.


Fresh Texture

A friend from the East Coast came to visit a couple of weeks ago, and over dinner she told me that the one thing of mine she really, really covets is my "dish situation" (by which she meant my collection of serving platters and wine glasses and plates and such).

With zero humility, I have to say: I love the collection I’ve amassed over the years. It includes everything from Noritake dinnerware classics (featured in this post; you can see the collection I curated for the brand here) to vintage finds from all over the country, and is constantly evolving as I discover new style pairings that feel fresh. That’s my favorite thing about my collection, actually: every few seasons, I step back and look at it, think about if and how I want to switch it up, and then simply mix a few new pieces to create a completely new look.

Take the tablescape pictured here, for example, which started with a bunch of pieces I already owned:


Verdad (A Fall Preview)

Verdad Trousers c/o | Eileen Fisher Crop Sweater | Miu Miu Clogs (similar)

What, you don't wear five-inch heels and stunning high-waisted trousers to cavort about in the desert? (Neither do I. Pretty background, though, right?) Those are the hills near my house - which are lovely and green in the winter, but turn into a dried-out (albeit atmospheric) wasteland by August. And if this location looks familiar, that's because you saw it here.

These pants, though. They're by a brand that Francesca works with - Verdad - and they are perfect, so she brought me a pair when she visited the other weekend.


Raise Your Hand If You’d Like A Pet Dragon

Yeah, I want a pet dragon too.

OK, so at the Renaissance Faire last weekend I decided to switch up my usual floaty look and dress up like a pirate, instead: my son's sword, Kendrick's vest, a big feather thing that's meant to be used in a smudging ceremony, and my awesome J.Crew pants that Kendrick thinks aren't especially awesome because they make me look like a potato. (He is wrong; the potato part is the awesomest part.) What I wore to the Ren Faire has nothing to do with pet dragons, of course - I'm just mentioning my outfit because I was super into it and think that "pirate" is my fair look going forward, and figured you should probably be aware of this.

Moving on: please look at what I found being sold at a stand called Wyverns Of Whimsy.