First of all, the colonial part – the section of town that’s a completely preserved colonial village, complete with people wandering around in full era costumes and horses and vendors selling lemon soap (which I totally bought, because it was the best-smelling thing EVER) and slate boards – is really very cool. We had Ploughman’s lunches and pulled pork sandwiches at the Dog Street Pub, and then wandered around for a couple of hours climbing on trees and such.
And then we went to an old-fashioned candy shop, and of all the amazingly delicious-looking things available to him, what Indy decided he wanted to buy a lollipop with a bug in it. A scorpion, specifically. Which my son (enthusiastically) and then my husband (reluctantly, and only because he was on the receiving end of a triple dog dare, and everyone knows that you don’t turn down triple dog dares)…ate. Like, the scorpion part of it. They ate it.
They put a scorpion in their mouths, and swallowed it.
This makes me shudder in the very depths of my soul.
(I also learned that I need to tell you guys where I’m going before I get there, because I’m getting all sorts of amazing recommendations from you and want to make sure I get them in time to actually do them. So, next up: Asheville!)
OK, so yesterday – Day 1 of our road trip – was not the most exciting day, but we knew that going into it. First, I was pretty certain I was going to cry when we drove away from my parents, and: yes. A lot. (When you are sad and on a road trip, Java Chip Frappuccinos help. Just FYI.)
Our goal was to just get a bunch of miles under our belts right away both because we’re not murderously tired of being in the car yet, and because we wanted to get to Virginia ASAP to maximize the time we could spend with Kendrick’s sister and her family. The only place that we passed during the 8-hour drive that I would have liked to stop at was Atlantic City, but on the bright side, that little omission probably saved us about two hundred bucks at the blackjack table.
As good as our kids are in cars, this was one of the longest stretches of straight driving we’ve planned (most days are more like 3-4 hours), so I was a little nervous, but it went well, mostly because the point was just Get There Without Melting Down. Pretty much the most exciting thing that happened was that we stopped at Olive Garden (which was actually pretty exciting for me, because I have never been before in my life – and while that may may sound weird to those of you who aren’t from NYC, it’s important to know that in New York the only Olive Garden is located in Times Square and is insanely expensive and a terrible idea, given that there are zillions of much cheaper Italian food options approximately five yards away).
The big discovery at Olive Garden: they give your children stickers that – as one reader helpfully pointed out – strongly resemble sperm.
We also listened to “Drift Away” (which is my son’s favorite song at the moment, and which he refers to as the the “Gimme Beat Balls” song) ten thousand times, and to The Flaming Lips’ “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song” (our son’s other favorite song, which just makes him an extremely cool kid) ten thousand times, too. I ate really a lot of gas station popcorn. We discovered that if you accidentally pull the cord out of the hood of a jacket, it is possible to play with said cord for two solid hours.
Finally, we came up with a short list of things we would like to do over the coming two weeks, which include:
- Find song other than “Drift Away” and “The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song” to become obsessed with, because while they are both very good songs, ten thousand plays in they are also swiftly becoming my least favorite songs in the world
- Eat our weight in beef jerky
- Buy cool tiles for our new place in Santa Fe
- Break in our respective cowboy boots
- Become the last people on the planet to listen to Serial
- Figure out how to assemble our son’s Transformer without getting into a raging marital fight
- Locate banana splits whenever and wherever possible
- Wrap our minds around the fact that for the time being, the tomato sauce on top of a slice of pizza counts as a vegetable
And we’re in Williamsburg now. It’s all beautiful houses and green lawns and loveliness, and today we’re apparently seeing people wearing colonial costumes and eating pulled pork, and that sounds good to me.
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