Anxiety

Blinded

On Thursday evening - four days ago - I got in a car crash. It was bad. It was also my fault.

I was driving through the middle of nowhere, headed North along the coast, on my way to be with a friend in crisis. The sun was at that point just above the horizon when it's blazing directly into your eyes, and you have to flick the visor from side to side to side with one hand while you steer with the other just to see the pavement ahead of you.

I didn't expect a stop sign anywhere along that particular stretch of road, empty as it seemed. I wasn't looking out for one, but even if I had been I was blinded, and I wouldn't have spotted it. So when one suddenly appeared, I drove straight through it at 40 miles per hour. A man turning from the opposite lane hit me directly on the driver's side door (it's called a "T-bone"; I know terms like this now) and my car and I went flying off the road into a field, where we crashed through wheat and dirt and narrowly missed telephone poles, and finally came to a stop.

Lifestyle

How To Talk To Your White Children About George Floyd

Last night, Kendrick and I were talking about Christian Cooper - the man who videotaped a white woman in Central Park flipping her lid and telling the cops that "an African-American man" was "threatening" her, despite the fact that he was demonstrably doing nothing of the sort - and George Floyd, whose story is so heartbreaking it defies description. About how easily the former story could have taken the the turn that the latter's did. Our son overheard us, and started asking questions. We answered as best as we could, while I tried to dance around the parts that sounded too scary for an eight-year-old. I don't know that I should have done that.

I don't know what to do.

How do you explain to a child that systematic racism is a "we" problem, when they may not be old enough to contextualize beyond "me" (e.g. white people did this --> white people are bad --> I am white --> I am bad). I have struggled also to explain the gross injustices suffered by women in this country to my son, a white boy who will one day grow into a white man. He sees t-shirts that say "Girl power" and I try to help him understand why he can't wear a t-shirt that says the same about him. I am trying to raise a nice boy. I also remember the things that the "nice boys" at my liberal arts university did to their female peers.

Lifestyle

10 Cheap Things You Can Buy And Not Feel Guilty About

Anyone else freaking the fuck out about money? Oh hi there! Thanks for coming!

So look: Shopping isn't happening right now. Which is actually probably great in some ways, because the present moment is teaching us just how little we actually *need*. I, for example, have recently taken stock of my not-inconsiderable shoe wardrobe, and discovered that I wear exactly three of the pairs I own. Two of those are pairs of Birkenstocks, and of those two pairs of Birkenstocks, one is a pair of Birkenstocks that my dog is hell-bent on eating, with astonishingly successful results. Never, ever again in my life - and this is a promise that I feel very comfortable making - will I wear four-inch leopard-print stilettos. That ship has sailed, my friends.

Pour one out for the leopard-print stilettos.

Shop My Favorites

Eat

I Made the Disneyland Churro Tots!

I would like to announce that I am really leaning into this Quarantine Cooking thing. (Sidenote: Are we still under quarantine? To what extent, precisely? What are the rules, and where are the grownups who are supposed to be telling us what the rules are at any given moment? And WILL SOMEBODY TELL US WORKING HUMANS HOW TO HANDLE THE TOTAL AND COMPLETE ABSENCE OF DAY CARE FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE THX.)

But food, right.

I'm not ordinarily a huge kitchen-experimenter, but I'm actually having a lot of fun (fun! remember that?!) trying out new techniques these days. I've made a big batch of homemade ramen every single weekend for the past month - this weekend the plan is to try to achieve a tonkotsu-style broth - and have whipped up rainbow cakes, pancake cereal, and banana breads for days (obvi). So when my friend texted me that Disney had released their "secret" churro recipe and that the ingredients were all things I happened to have laying around, I was on that within minutes.

-->
Lifestyle

Elle.com: Motherhood Through The Looking ‘Gram

The insecurities, incentives, and impulses all parents must navigate as they engage with platforms have the ability to make otherwise mature adults act like teenagers. Writer and influencer Jordan Reid, also known as @ramshackleglam, laughed when I asked her about this, as if it were so self-evident it hardly bore discussing. “I mean, I’m 38 years old and I put sparkle filter on my face,” she says.

Sure do. Not super proud of it, but I sure do.

Click here to read one of the most interesting pieces I've ever had the privilege of being interviewed for, on Elle.com (it's also in the hard copy of the May 2020 issue, if you prefer to go analog).

Lifestyle

Influencer Scandals, Horrifying Search Histories, and Drunk Amazon Purchases (And More!)

powered by Crowdcast

In last night's virtual book party hosted by Diesel Bookstore, Jamie Stone and I got into alllll the fun topics - and it was live and broadcast from my kitchen, so you know shit went wrong (omg my dog, omg my children). Check it out above (you can easily sign in using Facebook, Gmail, or Twitter if you don't want to register with Crowdcast).

powered by chloédigital