The TJMaxx Trip From Hell


Oh my GOD yesterday.

So Francesca’s visiting me for a few days, and yesterday we both worked from home in the morning, and then in the afternoon we thought we’d take Indy and Goldie to lunch and to the candy store and then swing by TJMaxx on the way back to my place. We were a little “eehhhhh” about the idea of shopping with two kids, but figured, hey, they have a toy section; we can stop there first and get something for each of my children to play with while we browse sweaters for half an hour or so.


Not even close to happening.

Hints of the horror show to come first popped up three minutes after we walked through the door, when Indy started panicking about having selected the wrong Transformer and Goldie decided that it was way funner to launch the stuffed animals out of the cart rather than to actually play with them. By the time we made our way to the dressing room, both of my children had transformed into Stage Five Clingers with operatic vocal cords. The whole thing reached a climax as I stood half-naked in a fluorescent-lit room with a screaming child strapped to each leg while Francesca struggled to zip up the back of the two-sizes-too-small wrap-skort-dress thing that I’d decided I needed to try on because all the noise had apparently interfered with my understanding of what a person should and should not wear (wrap-skort-dresses fall under the latter category).

So that was bad.

It was also – and I can’t believe I’m saying this – kind of a blast, just because it was LUDICROUS. By the time we walked out the doors, my children had dissolved to such a degree that Francesca and I were practically falling over from laughing so hard.

Years ago, when Francesca and I lived together, I remember we were driving to Whole Foods on a beautiful, sunny blue-sky day with the top down on my convertible, and we stopped in the turning lane and all of a sudden a tsunami came arcing into my car. Because apparently we had stopped next to a puddle that was inexplicably sitting in the middle of the street, and a truck had gone by and sent an entire wave cascading onto the front seat. We sat there open-mouthed, both of us completely coated with muddy, disgusting, Los Angeles gutter water…and then KT Tunstall came on the radio, all perky and upbeat and isn’t-life-grand, and we just started dying laughing, so hard that I could barely pilot the car into the parking lot.

And yesterday reminded me of that day. Like a disaster on such a ridiculous level that the only thing to do was laugh about it, so that’s what we did.

Here is a crucial difference between life before children and life after: when you, say, go to Bed Bath and Beyond without a child, you pretty much know what you can expect – you get the thing you need, pay for it, and leave. But when you have a kid with you, that trip may include floor licking.

Floors may always get licked.

That’s just the way life is now. And I really do think that the best thing you can do about it is laugh.

P.S. The photos you see here were obviously not taken during the TJMaxx Trip From Hell; they were taken many hours later on, after everyone was abed for the evening and we had headed out to eat frites and buy these at Free People. It was all very lovely and peaceful (albeit slightly less exciting).

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(Super) Start – And A Giveaway!

This post is brought to you by Elizabeth Arden and SheKnows Media.
elizabeth arden giveaway

This is my view in the morning, right when I wake up.

It makes getting out of bed a lot easier, I have to say. But I still require a few more things in order to truly jumpstart my day:

  1. Coffee (obviously);
  2. Carnation Instant Breakfast (don’t ask; just try it – it is like the nectar of the gods and I cannot stop drinking it);
  3. A quick splash with cold water;
  4. A few minutes (or, more realistically, between thirty and forty-five seconds) to myself to spend on my skincare routine. When I was twenty I could just run out wearing the remnants of last night’s makeup and look, if not especially elegant, at least semi-human, but now? I need my forty-five seconds to spend on myself, and I need my moisturizer.

In short: attending to the state of my skin is no longer an option; it’s an essential part of my morning (and night).

elizabeth arden superstart

I’ve been a fan of Elizabeth Arden skincare products for years now – their Eight-Hour Cream is one of my all-time must-haves, and I’ve been using their Prevage Anti-Aging Daily Serum every morning and night for about a month now, with great results (or at least I think so!) – and I just started test-running a brand-new product of theirs that uses all-new technology to take daily skincare to the next level.

What It Is: Elizabeth Arden SUPERSTART Skin Renewal Booster 

What It Does: Acts as an enhancement to your regular skincare routine, fortifying your skin’s natural ability to repair and renew and boosting the efficacy of any anti-aging or moisturizing products that you’re already using.

How You Use It: The product is best applied morning and night after cleansing and before applying serum or moisturizer.

How It Works: The product works for all skin types and optimizes the skin’s surface layer, enhancing its ability to respond to the other skincare products in your regimen. It also boosts your skin’s natural defenses due to a probiotic complex that optimizes skin’s microflora to strengthen its natural defense.

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Above is a video about the product, and I’ll be shooting and sharing my own video about my personal experience using SUPERSTART and Prevage Anti-Aging Daily Serum in just a couple of weeks. Excited to show you how it works!

Does your skin need a boost? Tell me about it in the comments section below for a chance to win Elizabeth Arden’s SUPERSTART Skin Renewal Booster to try for yourself!

Entry Instructions:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

  1. Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
  2. Tweet (public message) about this promotion; including exactly the following unique term in your tweet message: #SweepstakesEntry; and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post.
  3. Blog about this promotion, including a disclosure that you are receiving a sweepstakes entry in exchange for writing the blog post, and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post
  4. For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

elizabeth arden superstart giveaway

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older (or nineteen (19) years of age or older in Alabama and Nebraska). Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 2 business days to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 10/1/15 – 10/20/15.

Be sure to visit the Elizabeth Arden SUPERSTART Skin Renewal Booster brand page on where you can read other bloggersí posts!

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