DIARY

Beginning Of An Era

My children have moved several times over the course of their lives. Probably too many. I have worried about this - about the effect all these moves might have on their sense of security; their understanding of "home." Not long ago, I confessed this to a friend - one who has moved her own children several times, including transcontinentally - and what she said to me was this: "There are parents who stay still. You don't. That's simply the mother they have, and it's neither a good thing nor a bad thing...it's just one of the things that make your family what it is."

I like to think that's true; that they'll grow up feeling like they've had the opportunity to experience many different places, and that those places - and the people who they've met and loved - are still a part of them. It is true that they have a mother who is restless, and who tends to impose her restlessness upon them, but along with all that restlessness comes adventure.

I grew up in a completely different set of circumstances. Shortly after I was born, my parents bought an apartment on the West Side of Manhattan, in a converted piano factory with massive arches that used to frame horse stalls, and wrought-iron balconies crisscrossing a large central courtyard that grew tulips in the spring and was the stage for what I firmly believe was the world's scariest Halloween display come fall. Most of the residents were in the theater or film industry; that was who gravitated towards Hell's Kitchen back then - or maybe it was just the only place in the city they could afford. When I was twelve, a director who lived on the first floor asked me - out of the blue - to audition for a commercial, and by the end of the day I had an agent and had set off down a path that would shape the next two decades of my life. I feel the butterfly effects of that chance meeting in my life still.

Lifestyle

Ramshackle Glam Audioblog: On Divorce

Today is the official release date of The Big Activity Book for Divorced People (order here!), woo! To celebrate, I tried A New Thing (divorce! evolution!). Caveat: I have zero technical skills and essentially just tried to teach myself how to use GarageBand while sitting under a sheet, so suggestions and feedback are welcome. I have a few more of these planned, so I'd also love to hear whether you...you know...like this.

Listen away below!

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Home

Shall We Spring Clean?

I do not especially love cleaning…but I love Spring Cleaning. Mostly because you can apply the idea way beyond the reaches of your rugs: Spring is a great time to chop off a few inches of hair, streamline your wardrobe to highlight those pieces you really do wear, and whittle down your beauty products to the bare necessities. You can even - stay with me, here - spring clean your mind. (Click here for a Tarot spread for spiritual decluttering.)

In other words: I think about it less as "cleaning," and more as "simplifying."

Below, alllll the ideas you could possibly want if you're in a simple life kinda mood this weekend.

Crafts for the Uncrafty

How To Make A Gorgeous Floral Arrangement…With Supermarket Flowers

First experience with floral foam went stunningly well.

Did you know I am a professional flower arranger? Right, neither did I.

First: I am super aware that this does not look easy. It is so easy. I whipped this arrangement – which is nice and low, so you can put it on your dining room table without completely obliterating your view of your fellow diners - up using exclusively grocery store-bought flowers, and in about ten minutes.

Lifestyle

Five Right-This-Moment Favorites

OK, my actual right-this-moment favorite thing is "napping every g-damned day while my kids are in school BECAUSE I CAN," but putting that aside for a moment: Here's what I'm very, very into right now.

1. All things vintage Betsey Johnson. Betsey is my neighbor, which is actual #lifegoals - she tools around our neighborhood in a golf cart rocking the most amazing neon dreadlocks, and I have never (like literally not once) seen her emerge into public without red lipstick and what appears to be every ring she owns - but my love affair with her eponymous brand goes way, way back. I lucked into inheriting the incredible blouse pictured above (more shots here) from my mom, but if you search "vintage Betsey Johnson" on Etsy you'll find a treasure trove of light-as-air floral dresses that are, IMO, absolutely perfect for Spring 2021 and our re-emergence into real life (remember that?!).

2. Kristin Hannah books. A few weeks ago I solicited book recs on Instagram, and THANK YOU to everyone who recommended The Great Alone. Kristin Hannah's epic novel about a 1970s family who moves to the Alaskan frontier and has to cope with the father's increasingly terrifying PTSD symptoms from his stint in Vietnam is, quite simply, one of the best works of fiction I've ever read - so much so that I immediately ordered and read The Nightingale, Hannah's earlier novel about sisters living in France during the WWII German occupation, and...again. One of the best works of fiction I've ever read. (I actually hugged it when I finished, which is the weird thing I do when I read something I truly love.) Currently waiting on The Four Winds to arrive.

Decor

The Death Knell For Millennial Pink Has Sounded

Let us first begin with a quick story that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter of this post, because sure.

By now, I think we are all aware that I hover somewhere on the "holy shit, how are you still alive" end of the clumsiness spectrum (see evidence here, here, here, and here). A few days ago, however, I reached Apex Level Disastrousness, in the form of a Spring Break trip to the desert during which I managed to break 1) my cell phone, 2) my son's laptop screen, 3) the glass top of a table in our AirBnB that I shattered by tripping and falling directly on top of it (I'm fine, and obviously I paid for the table, and no it wasn't cheap), 4) my left index finger, perhaps not literally, but I burned it on a pan so badly that I look forward to a very large, very glamorous scar that will almost certainly last for the remainder of my days.

The phone, of course, was the most critical issue at hand, because of course we have evolved to the point where we are completely non-functional without our phones. I had to ask people (!) in person (!!) how to navigate to the AT&T store to get a new phone, and when, upon arriving, I was told that I was welcome to ship my phone off to Apple and await a replacement that could take up to 5 business days (no), I ended up saying fuck it, and upgrading to the newest version - the iPhone 12 ProMax - for basically the same cost as the insurance deductible.

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