DIARY

The Rides We Choose

December 17, 2018

I have this acquaintance who recently got divorced; let's call her "S." S and her husband were together for five years, and have a three-year-old daughter. They had their various problems, of course, as any marriage does, but one thing that always stood out to me about their situation was just how little S's husband seemed to participate in - or want to participate in - their life.

S made the plans. She made the friends. She picked the rugs, booked the vacations, shaped their days and months and future. Something else that always stood out to me: It didn't seem like S's husband particularly liked the things she planned for them; even as little as I knew him, her choices just seemed so clearly the opposite of what he would have chosen himself. Beer instead of champagne, et cetera.

It's not something I'm not sure she ever noticed herself; it was one of those parts of a marriage that you can only see when you're standing outside it.

Decor

A Little Holiday House Tour

December 13, 2018

Kendrick asked me the other day whether it's weird for me to live in a house that I don't own. He knew how important to me it was; the ability to work on a house and make it my own felt like...I don't know, like an intrinsic part of who I was. And the pride that I got from home ownership after many years of not thinking it was anywhere within the realm of possibility for me was enormous.

But you know what I said to him?

"Eh. I kind of love renting."

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Lifestyle

The Fancy Pregnant Person Gift Guide

December 11, 2018

What pregnant people need are wipes, and diapers. Oh, and this book. But if they don't have children yet, they don't understand that really all they need are wipes and diapers. And if they do have children already, they might want a moment in their life that doesn't involve wipes and diapers.

So. Maybe consider giving them one of these things.

DIARY

The Story

December 10, 2018

Kendrick and I fell in love on our third date. He'd stayed over at the house I shared with Francesca with a couple of bandmates after a show in Silverlake, and in the morning we put Lucy on her leash and walked over to the donut shop down the block to get breakfast for everyone. We held hands, and laughed at how weird Lucy is, and everything seemed very simple and clear.

Then he went off on tour, and eventually back to where he lived in New York, but in the six weeks that passed between when we met and when we got engaged, we talked constantly, of course - at odd hours, more often than not, because at that juncture in our lives neither of us was keeping a particularly normal schedule.

There was this one time when I called him super late at night (or super early in the morning, depending on how you look at it). I'd been out far too late at some club or another - these were my LA Party Girl days, when sleeping seemed optional. I should have gone straight to bed, obviously, but I felt anxious, almost panicked. Like at that moment I was the only person on the planet still awake. I wanted to talk to someone who made me happier than the people I'd just spent several hours having screamed non-conversations with over thumping club music, and so even though everything I'd learned about men told me not to - don't look needy! - I called him. He was asleep, of course - it was three hours later in New York - but he picked up the phone anyway.

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Lifestyle

The Luxe List

December 8, 2018

Because sometimes it's fun to dream big.

Lifestyle

Gift Ideas For Other People’s Kids (That You Can Be Reasonably Certain They Don’t Already Have)

December 7, 2018

I cannot tell you how many times I have triumphantly handed over a present to a friend's child, only to watch them open it and have the mom say "OH HOW GREAT IS THAT?!"...at which point the child informs me that um, he already has three of those.

This holiday season, when giving gifts to other people's children: Don't be me.

(These gifts also work for your own kids, obvi.)

DIARY

The Purgatory Problem

December 6, 2018

This is not me.

The other day, I tried an aerial dance class at a studio near my house. I've been doing things like this lately - signing up for classes (dance, pottery, crochet) just because they sound fun. Because I want to, and because sometimes the kids are with their dad, and so I can. It was only me and one other woman in the class, and the other student had been dancing for a year, so I was a little embarrassed at just how bad I was clearly going to be. The first time I tried to kick my legs up I failed - obviously - and felt all graceless and vaguely elephantine, but even as I flailed there on the ring with my limbs sticking out in every direction, the other student and the instructor were standing there cheering for me. Actually cheering.

You're doing SO GREAT! You've got this!

Lifestyle

Gifts For The In-Laws (And Other Relative-Types)

December 5, 2018

Oh, holidays with relatives. So problematic. So fraught. So impossible to shop for. Instead of (yet another) ornament, I suggest the below.

Lifestyle

Francesca’s 2018 Holiday Gift Guide

December 4, 2018

Today, I thought I'd let my other half - you know, the one of us with better taste - go ahead and do my job for me.

The older I get, the more eclectic my desires become. I want things that are practical, and yet I still want things that are totally...not. Ergo, here are my very random holiday gifting suggestions. - Francesca

Lifestyle

Gifts For Men That Have Nothing To Do With Alcohol Or Golf

December 3, 2018

Is the significant male in your life all full up on flasks, hilarious golf socks, and those whiskey ice cube things that nobody ever actually uses? Could he use, perhaps, something that isn't underwear (although let's be real: all men, everywhere could use some new underwear)? Some suggestions, below.

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