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Shall We Spring Clean?

I do not especially love cleaning…but I love Spring Cleaning. Mostly because you can apply the idea way beyond the reaches of your rugs: Spring is a great time to chop off a few inches of hair, streamline your wardrobe to highlight those pieces you really do wear, and whittle down your beauty products to the bare necessities. You can even - stay with me, here - spring clean your mind. (Click here for a Tarot spread for spiritual decluttering.)

In other words: I think about it less as "cleaning," and more as "simplifying."

Below, alllll the ideas you could possibly want if you're in a simple life kinda mood this weekend.

Crafts for the Uncrafty

How To Make A Gorgeous Floral Arrangement…With Supermarket Flowers

First experience with floral foam went stunningly well.

Did you know I am a professional flower arranger? Right, neither did I.

First: I am super aware that this does not look easy. It is so easy. I whipped this arrangement – which is nice and low, so you can put it on your dining room table without completely obliterating your view of your fellow diners - up using exclusively grocery store-bought flowers, and in about ten minutes.

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Lifestyle

Five Right-This-Moment Favorites

OK, my actual right-this-moment favorite thing is "napping every g-damned day while my kids are in school BECAUSE I CAN," but putting that aside for a moment: Here's what I'm very, very into right now.

1. All things vintage Betsey Johnson. Betsey is my neighbor, which is actual #lifegoals - she tools around our neighborhood in a golf cart rocking the most amazing neon dreadlocks, and I have never (like literally not once) seen her emerge into public without red lipstick and what appears to be every ring she owns - but my love affair with her eponymous brand goes way, way back. I lucked into inheriting the incredible blouse pictured above (more shots here) from my mom, but if you search "vintage Betsey Johnson" on Etsy you'll find a treasure trove of light-as-air floral dresses that are, IMO, absolutely perfect for Spring 2021 and our re-emergence into real life (remember that?!).

2. Kristin Hannah books. A few weeks ago I solicited book recs on Instagram, and THANK YOU to everyone who recommended The Great Alone. Kristin Hannah's epic novel about a 1970s family who moves to the Alaskan frontier and has to cope with the father's increasingly terrifying PTSD symptoms from his stint in Vietnam is, quite simply, one of the best works of fiction I've ever read - so much so that I immediately ordered and read The Nightingale, Hannah's earlier novel about sisters living in France during the WWII German occupation, and...again. One of the best works of fiction I've ever read. (I actually hugged it when I finished, which is the weird thing I do when I read something I truly love.) Currently waiting on The Four Winds to arrive.

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Decor

The Death Knell For Millennial Pink Has Sounded

Let us first begin with a quick story that has absolutely nothing to do with the subject matter of this post, because sure.

By now, I think we are all aware that I hover somewhere on the "holy shit, how are you still alive" end of the clumsiness spectrum (see evidence here, here, here, and here). A few days ago, however, I reached Apex Level Disastrousness, in the form of a Spring Break trip to the desert during which I managed to break 1) my cell phone, 2) my son's laptop screen, 3) the glass top of a table in our AirBnB that I shattered by tripping and falling directly on top of it (I'm fine, and obviously I paid for the table, and no it wasn't cheap), 4) my left index finger, perhaps not literally, but I burned it on a pan so badly that I look forward to a very large, very glamorous scar that will almost certainly last for the remainder of my days.

The phone, of course, was the most critical issue at hand, because of course we have evolved to the point where we are completely non-functional without our phones. I had to ask people (!) in person (!!) how to navigate to the AT&T store to get a new phone, and when, upon arriving, I was told that I was welcome to ship my phone off to Apple and await a replacement that could take up to 5 business days (no), I ended up saying fuck it, and upgrading to the newest version - the iPhone 12 ProMax - for basically the same cost as the insurance deductible.

Lifestyle

…And Here Is How I Sleep Now

Goals

Remember my 10 years of insomnia? That was followed by several years of raising extremely young children, during which I learned the skill of passing out on the floor in the center of a crowded room, if need be. The pandemic threw that routine off juuuust a touch (thanks, anxiety!), but I would like to emerge from quarantine looking non-zombie-ish, so I decided to apply myself to the task of creating the actual most perfect sleep situation of all time.

I will now share that sleep situation with you (you're welcome).

Outdoor Living

The Ten Best Outdoor Decor Finds At Target Right Now

Trust me and buy this, before it's out of stock again.

First, the very best news: My beloved egg chair is back in stock, and you need to own it. I'm serious: It's one of my favorite purchases I've ever made, and for $500 it is surprisingly well-made (it has survived an entire year in my possession and looks more or less new, which speaks VOLUMES). It's also relatively compact for a hanging chair, so it totally works on a smallish patio, just saying.

Scroll down to see the rest of the outdoor decor gloriousness Target is making me covet right now.

Lifestyle

National Fragrance Day Giveaway: Riddle Oil Gift Set

I've gone on (and on, and on) about how much I love Riddle Oil's pheromone-based scents - I discovered them about a year and a half ago, when my mom and I stopped into a little boutique in Malibu filled with many, many things that I wanted to own but could not afford. My mom felt similarly, but nevertheless decided to try on everything in the store, so I ended up wandering around by the cash register, picking various things up and putting them back down while trying to keep my children from doing the same, and one of the things I picked up was this little rollerball perfume oil from a company I’d never heard of called “Riddle.”

I couldn’t put my finger on what, exactly, it smelled like, but I was instantly OBSESSED, to the point where I flagged down the woman who was standing in the corner folding $300 t-shirts to ask her about it. She had virtually no information to offer me and had seemingly never noticed it even sitting there in the shop, so I figured it was some ultra boutique-y oil made by, like, the owner’s friend.

And then, two weeks later, I was still thinking about that scent. Which is…I mean, that’s weird. Right? I don’t usually find myself thinking about scents period, and certainly not about random Malibu rollerball oils. But I’d simply never smelled anything quite like this. I wish I could describe it to you, but…I can’t. It just smells exactly like how I want to smell. It smells like when you’re in love with someone, and you snuggle into their neck, and the way they smell makes you want to stay there for hours.

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