I’ve been writing and talking a lot these past few weeks about vulnerability. Authenticity. And the realizations I’ve had about myself as a result of all this writing and talking have been pretty fucking humbling.
So. Because I cannot write or talk about anything else, I'm going to tell you what happened.
I have realized, as I said in that post a couple of weeks ago, that while it is extremely easy for me to be open, it is not easy for me to be authentic - to show the people in my life the *real* me, in all its complicated unprettiness. I know how people want me to act, and so that's what I do. And if I deviate from this performance - if I'm in a bad mood, or depressed - I apologize, and then I fix it.