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The Cake Emergency

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The other day, I made a phone call to my friend Alisa - the one who helped me make this little masterpiece - that began with the words "Cake emergency! CAKE EMERGENCY!"

(You didn't know cake-baking could be an emergency situation? Then you clearly haven't been reading this website long enough.)

I was just starting dinner on Friday night when I realized that I had completely and totally forgotten that I had promised to bake a very fancy, very labor-intensive cake for my friend's daughter's birthday party the very next morning. I realized this because my friend sent me a text reading "So how's the cake look?!" - to which I, of course, responded, "Great!"

Video

The Most Important Question On The Planet: Snapchat Vs. Instagram Stories

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Oh, so you already Tweet/Facebook/Blog/Instagram/Snapchat? Cool! Except not really, because a) Twitter is for cavepeople and b) now you need to be creating Instagram Stories too.

(YOU GUYS. I JUST joined Snapchat like four weeks ago - @ramshackleglam, if you'd like to see Kendrick choking on peppers and me wrapping my feet in delayed-action acid - and I am already one of the Olds who does not understand what the spring chickens are up to these days.)

OK, so I love Snapchat. I didn't participate in it for a long enough time that it got weird, given what I do for a living, and then I started doing it, and discovered that it is my absolute favorite outlet precisely because I can just be 100% myself and have fun on it. And then, like two days later, I found out that Instagram was trying to co-opt Snapchat by giving users their own way to post embarrassing/terrible/inexcusable videos that would disappear within twenty-four hours (unless someone takes a screenshot, but that's a different story).

Video

Whoopsidaisy

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Soooooo you know how I get Botox to correct my eye asymmetry? And you know how Botox detractors say it leaves you unable to communicate emotion like a for-real human being?

Whoooooopsidaisy!

P.S. I think this is the funniest problem I have ever had in my entire life (and also entirely my fault, because I forgot the cardinal rule of injecting poison into one's face: thou shalt not permit thineself to be distracted, lest thou endest up unable to smize).