Oh, Ew

do recipes for jello gelatin worms actually work?

The other day I was at Children's Storytime at the library, and I ran into my friend Brianna, who was there with her niece (who happens to be Goldie's BFF). I mentioned that we were throwing Indy a "spooky party" for his fifth birthday, and she said "OH. You have to make worms!"

Apparently there is a recipe all over the Internet that explains how one can pour raspberry Jell-O into bendy straws, and somehow end up with worms.



The Cake Emergency


The other day, I made a phone call to my friend Alisa - the one who helped me make this little masterpiece - that began with the words "Cake emergency! CAKE EMERGENCY!"

(You didn't know cake-baking could be an emergency situation? Then you clearly haven't been reading this website long enough.)

I was just starting dinner on Friday night when I realized that I had completely and totally forgotten that I had promised to bake a very fancy, very labor-intensive cake for my friend's daughter's birthday party the very next morning. I realized this because my friend sent me a text reading "So how's the cake look?!" - to which I, of course, responded, "Great!"


The Most Important Question On The Planet: Snapchat Vs. Instagram Stories


Oh, so you already Tweet/Facebook/Blog/Instagram/Snapchat? Cool! Except not really, because a) Twitter is for cavepeople and b) now you need to be creating Instagram Stories too.

(YOU GUYS. I JUST joined Snapchat like four weeks ago - @ramshackleglam, if you'd like to see Kendrick choking on peppers and me wrapping my feet in delayed-action acid - and I am already one of the Olds who does not understand what the spring chickens are up to these days.)

OK, so I love Snapchat. I didn't participate in it for a long enough time that it got weird, given what I do for a living, and then I started doing it, and discovered that it is my absolute favorite outlet precisely because I can just be 100% myself and have fun on it. And then, like two days later, I found out that Instagram was trying to co-opt Snapchat by giving users their own way to post embarrassing/terrible/inexcusable videos that would disappear within twenty-four hours (unless someone takes a screenshot, but that's a different story).




Soooooo you know how I get Botox to correct my eye asymmetry? And you know how Botox detractors say it leaves you unable to communicate emotion like a for-real human being?


P.S. I think this is the funniest problem I have ever had in my entire life (and also entirely my fault, because I forgot the cardinal rule of injecting poison into one's face: thou shalt not permit thineself to be distracted, lest thou endest up unable to smize).