Posts Tagged: Reader Question

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Trust Issues And Actions

Today's reader question - about relationship trust - is something that I have extremely strong feelings about. And the reasons for those strong feelings are deeply personal ones, but your feedback the other day encouraged me to try to open up a bit more here...

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Wedding Etiquette: Declining A Gift

Q. Hi Jordan!

Etiquette question: my husband and i did not sign up for a wedding registry and we made sure to tell people to please refrain from getting us gifts. Will people be offended if we don't deposit their checks? Also, my mother in law got us HIDEOUS CHINA - the biggest set of china ever. Can we stash it in the attic and forget about it?

A. First, let's talk "No Gifts" policies. While the intention behind them is absolutely noble ("your presence in our lives is the gift"), they still raise two issues: 1) Technically, you're not supposed to "expect" wedding gifts, and traditional etiquette rules hold that addressing the gift issue at all is rude (I'm not actually on board with this one; I think that most guests will appreciate some direction when it comes to gifts - just put the registry information or "In lieu of gifts..." request on your wedding website rather than on the actual invitation - or spread the news by word of mouth), and 2) Even if you elope, some people will get you gifts anyway.

Guaranteed. And I am certain of this because...I would. If a close friend got married and asked me not to get them a present, I may skew towards inexpensive/handmade, but I would absolutely feel compelled to give them something.


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