Q. Hi Jordan,
I’ve been stressing about something for days (weeks, really), and it just occurred to me that you might be the perfect person to give me a little advice.
A few months ago, I exchanged follows on Tumblr with someone…We started “liking” posts, which led to e-mailing, which led to e-flirting, and we both admitted to having crushes on one another. I’m going to be in NYC in a few weeks, and we’ve made plans to get together.
I’m super nervous about meeting him, mostly because I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself/him/the situation, and I thought that since you and Kendrick met in a similar fashion, you might be able to ease my fears/offer some tips?
Thanks, and I hope all is well!
– Anonymous
Answer after the jump!
A. As I’m sure you can imagine, I’m a big supporter of following your gut when it comes to stuff like this…but I would be desperately irresponsible if I didn’t caution you to of course (and I’m sure you know this) meet in a public place and make sure you let at least one friend know where you’re going and when you expect to be finished. (OK, enough mom stuff! Couldn’t help it.)
I think the fun thing about meeting someone in this manner is that you can be totally out in the open about the weirdness of it all (you probably know all sorts of odd things about each other already) – so at the risk of sounding cheesy…really just go ahead and be yourself. He knows you (or at least the online you), and he’s already admitted to having a crush on you! Kendrick and I had our first date at 3am at a diner, and ordered all sorts of weird stuff and drank horrible scotch, and it was amazing because we sort of let everything go – because we had nothing to lose, really. I can’t believe the things that I shared with him five minutes after meeting him in person…but the fact that we’d communicated with such comfort online just took away my inhibitions. I actually really like the idea of a diner date, because a) you can dress like yourself, b) there’s zero pretension, c) it’s inexpensive, and d) alcohol is available, but not required. Always a good thing on a first date ;).
Another memorable first date I had was at the Museum of Natural History – the exhibits give you lots to talk about if you’re nervous, and you can spend as much or as little time in the museum as you like. Plus, it can be whatever you make of it: it can be playful and relaxed, or even a little romantic (try the marine life and rainforest exhibits if things are going well). Plus, you can take a stroll through Central Park afterwards, which is always nice.
I’d also suggest Rudy’s as a chill bar where you can get a pitcher and listen to a great jukebox, or Zombie Hut in Carroll Gardens, because you can play board games while you have cocktails. You can also check out this post for more what-to-do ideas. But whatever you do, just remember that you really do have nothing to lose – at worst, you’ll get to explore the city a bit…and at best, you’ll have someone to explore it with for a long time to come.
Let me know how it goes?? I’m so excited for you!
– J
Email reprinted with reader permission.
