Real Talk

DIARY

The Ones Who Catch You

A few years ago - shortly before my daughter was born - a friend of mine told me that she had cancer.

When I say “a friend of mine,” I mean someone I cared about; someone I had special, beautiful memories with. Someone who I thought was smart, and interesting. Someone who’d just had a baby a couple of months earlier, making her diagnosis worse than the worst thing imaginable. 

But by then, we weren’t especially tied into each others’ lives. In the old days we’d mostly been casual, going-out-type friends, and in the years since we’d grown up and out of bars and parties and late nights in the company of dartboards, and we’d emailed only occasionally. When the dust settled it turned out we didn't really have much in common at all, and we lost touch. I didn’t even know what she did for a living, or her partner’s name. 

Parenting

Two Questions About My Kids, Because I Need Your Help

So happy! So sweet! UNTIL...

Not to put you in a Dear Abby situation or anything, but there are a few things my children are doing lately that have me stumped. And so today I'm going to use this site to access your collective genius, if that's okay with you, because I am fresh out of mom skills to deploy.

Problem #1: How Do You Know When to Let Your Kid Quit?

DIARY

In The Middle

I have a lipoma. This sounds worse than it is - it's technically a tumor, yes, but it's not cancer; it's just a "fatty globule" (hot) the size of a walnut. It's tucked underneath my left armpit, sort of towards my back. I can get it removed, but there's really no reason to other than vanity.

David Sedaris has a lipoma. So does my father-in-law. A couple of weeks ago I had an extended conversation about lipomas with a friend who runs a tattoo parlor in Los Angeles. He has one, too.

All of a sudden, lipomas are popping up everywhere in my life. According to my doctor, they're pretty common in middle age.

Parenting Guilt

The One I Can’t Forgive

I've made a lot of mistakes as a parent. I've written about most of them here - they range from tragicomic incidents like accidentally bringing my four-year-old to a verrrrrry adult haunted house and getting my entire family into a The Hills Are Alive situation, to having my head elsewhere when they need it to be right there with them.

Listening. I am so bad at listening.

I've also written over and over about the importance of forgiving yourself. About the fact that we are, all of us, flawed - and yet all of us are, of course, doing the best that we can. We love our children impossibly, and yet we make mistakes - sometimes the same ones, over and over and over. I know that dwelling on these mistakes helps no one. I know that you learn from them; you move on; you try to do better the next time.

DIARY

Putting It On My Succulent

I may need more than one.

Francesca has, as of late, been using the word "manifest" in casual conversation more than I'm reasonably able to handle. (And I have told her as much, e.g. "I love you very much, but if you keep telling me to manifest I will put you on mute.")

Look, I had a meditation coach for awhile. I spent my high school years practicing Wicca, and really wanted to buy a massive, perfectly round crystal I saw in a store the other day. I am, in other words, not completely sans woo elements in my own personality. (And please be aware that I use the term "woo" - as in "woo-woo" - with a big spoonful of affection; I respect and appreciate that people explore their inner selves in various ways that sure, may appear a little odd to others, but that work for them. Yay for spirituality and self-exploration. Yay for crystals and meditation. Just please don't make me manifest.)


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