Parenting Guilt

Anxiety

Nothing To Do But Jump

August 30, 2018

I am not really an app person, and though my phone is full of all the apps in the world c/o my six-year-old, I couldn't tell you how to play any of the games on pain of death.

Video games, now - those I like, ever since I discovered the joys of Duck Hunt at the tender age of six (when parents all over the country simultaneously decided that it was a good idea to give their elementary schoolers pretend rifles and let them pretend-kill defenseless little birds). Kendrick and I had a brief (albeit rapturous) dalliance with Angry Birds back when we first started living together. I will happily play Super Mario with my son all night, every night because Super Mario is wonderful. And - just saying - I will take you DOWN in MarioKart (oh, yes I will). But when it comes to Candy Crush and Farmtown (or whatever it's called) or any of those other app-type games that I always see people posting about on Facebook?

Not really my thing. My phone is for looking at clothing I cannot afford to buy, watching Bachelor In Paradise from my bathtub, and accidentally and horrifyingly butt-dialing exes and frenemies.

DIARY

Just Because

July 27, 2018

The duct tape that saved the day.

I thought I'd emerge from this camping trip with some profound words of wisdom. Woman of the Woods, So Independent, WE CAN DO IT, etc etc.

And I do feel pretty...if not badass, certainly something approaching it.

DIARY

The Kind Of Parent You’ve Got To Be Sometimes

July 12, 2018

I took the kids to Rockin' Jump after camp yesterday. Rockin' Jump, for those of you who aren't parents or don't live in the suburbs, is a massive trampoline park populated by oh god, so many small people, the vast majority of whom are physically launching themselves through the air at at any given moment. For safety's sake, there are also lots of uniformed attendants who will yell at them (and you) if they do anything wrong, and the list of "things you can do wrong in the trampoline park" includes "everything that children want to do a trampoline park."

I know. It sounds super fun.

Except my kids (obviously) love it, and so when they said they wanted to go, I was sort of surprised that camp hadn't tired them out...but I thought, what the hell. Because it's summer, and in the summer you can do things like take spur-of-the-moment trips to trampoline parks, and also because I have a little secret about Rockin' Jump:

Parenting Guilt

The One I Can’t Forgive

May 21, 2018

I've made a lot of mistakes as a parent. I've written about most of them here - they range from tragicomic incidents like accidentally bringing my four-year-old to a verrrrrry adult haunted house and getting my entire family into a The Hills Are Alive situation, to having my head elsewhere when they need it to be right there with them.

Listening. I am so bad at listening.

I've also written over and over about the importance of forgiving yourself. About the fact that we are, all of us, flawed - and yet all of us are, of course, doing the best that we can. We love our children impossibly, and yet we make mistakes - sometimes the same ones, over and over and over. I know that dwelling on these mistakes helps no one. I know that you learn from them; you move on; you try to do better the next time.

Anxiety

Less Sorry

May 1, 2018

A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh. - Leonard Cohen

I wanted another baby.

It’s strange to be saying that out loud, because for a long time not even my own mother knew that I wanted a third child. A couple of my friends knew, but when we discussed it I never used the word “trying.” I danced around the subject. Oh, you know, we’ll see what happens.

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