Parenting

DIARY

In The Middle

May 29, 2018

I have a lipoma. This sounds worse than it is - it's technically a tumor, yes, but it's not cancer; it's just a "fatty globule" (hot) the size of a walnut. It's tucked underneath my left armpit, sort of towards my back. I can get it removed, but there's really no reason to other than vanity.

David Sedaris has a lipoma. So does my father-in-law. A couple of weeks ago I had an extended conversation about lipomas with a friend who runs a tattoo parlor in Los Angeles. He has one, too.

All of a sudden, lipomas are popping up everywhere in my life. According to my doctor, they're pretty common in middle age.

Parenting Guilt

The One I Can’t Forgive

May 21, 2018

I've made a lot of mistakes as a parent. I've written about most of them here - they range from tragicomic incidents like accidentally bringing my four-year-old to a verrrrrry adult haunted house and getting my entire family into a The Hills Are Alive situation, to having my head elsewhere when they need it to be right there with them.

Listening. I am so bad at listening.

I've also written over and over about the importance of forgiving yourself. About the fact that we are, all of us, flawed - and yet all of us are, of course, doing the best that we can. We love our children impossibly, and yet we make mistakes - sometimes the same ones, over and over and over. I know that dwelling on these mistakes helps no one. I know that you learn from them; you move on; you try to do better the next time.

DIARY

Putting It On My Succulent

May 8, 2018

I may need more than one.

Francesca has, as of late, been using the word "manifest" in casual conversation more than I'm reasonably able to handle. (And I have told her as much, e.g. "I love you very much, but if you keep telling me to manifest I will put you on mute.")

Look, I had a meditation coach for awhile. I spent my high school years practicing Wicca, and really wanted to buy a massive, perfectly round crystal I saw in a store the other day. I am, in other words, not completely sans woo elements in my own personality. (And please be aware that I use the term "woo" - as in "woo-woo" - with a big spoonful of affection; I respect and appreciate that people explore their inner selves in various ways that sure, may appear a little odd to others, but that work for them. Yay for spirituality and self-exploration. Yay for crystals and meditation. Just please don't make me manifest.)

Anxiety

Less Sorry

May 1, 2018

A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh. - Leonard Cohen

I wanted another baby.

It’s strange to be saying that out loud, because for a long time not even my own mother knew that I wanted a third child. A couple of my friends knew, but when we discussed it I never used the word “trying.” I danced around the subject. Oh, you know, we’ll see what happens.

My Looks

Mommy and Me (And a Fun Little Friendship Origin Story)

April 27, 2018

Dresses from the Stripes Boutique Mommy and Me Shop

I'm not ordinarily a "mommy-and-me" outfit-type person. I mean OK, my daughter and I have matching pom-pom shoes...but come on: when matching pom-pom shoes exist, buying and then wearing them (at the same time) is clearly non-optional.

So when my friend Elise told me she wanted us to model some of the mommy-and-me dresses she'd designed for her label, Stripes, my answer was "...Eh, I don't know."

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