Lifestyle

Gift Ideas For Impossible-To-Shop-For People

…Unless there’s a mansion in that box I’m not sure what you expect me to do with it.

OK, so I admit it: I have, from time to time, been told that this is the category into which I fall. What can I say? I have extremely specific tastes. (You could also call them “annoying”; that would be valid, as well.)

If there’s someone like me on your list, here’s my suggestion: steer away from clothing, perfume, jewelry (unless it’s from catbird; everybody likes the jewelry from catbird), and anything that requires you to communicate an understanding of their personal style, because what will happen is you will not do it right. (Picky people are the worst.)

Go for one of the below gifts instead; they’re all the kinds of things that everyone wants, but nobody would really buy for themselves. Perfect.

1/13

Farmgirl Flowers

love having fresh flowers (especially fresh flowers that look like this), but always feel guilty buying them for myself. Farmgirl Flowers lets you set up a monthly delivery service, or just send over a one-off gift (my personal obsessions: their DIY tablescape kit and this Norfolk pine in a woven basket).

2/13

Fascia Blaster

I have ohhhhhhhh man, so much to tell you about Ashley Black Guru’s fascia blasters (stay tuned for a video featuring a screaming Kendrick) – suffice it to say that for someone with chronic stiffness, pain or cellulite (or a host of other issues; you can learn more over on their site), these crazy-looking things are MIRACLES. (They also definitely look like sex toys, so be forewarned.)

My personal favorite – and I’ve tried most of the products they offer by now – is the Mini 1 (pictured above), because it’s portable and not quite as intimidating to a beginner as the full-sized fascia blaster.

3/13

1-Day Probiotic Juice Cleanse

I am not a Person Who Cleanses; I am a hungry person who does not enjoy consuming things like liquefied celery. But I gave La Vie’s 1-day probiotic cleanse a shot (you can read about my experience here), and ever since I’ve been thinking how I want to do it again. And again.

4/13

Moon Water Cactus Silk Pillows

Moon Water’s cactus silk pillowcases (which aren’t as delicate as they sound; don’t worry) are just straight-up spectacular.

Seriously, go check out the color options: they’re stunning.

5/13

Moon Phases Wall Hanging

Another Moon Water pick: this terracotta Moon Phases wall-hanging. Beautiful as part of a gallery wall or hanging on its own in a smaller space, it’s lovely and personal (and, like everything in the shop, handmade by small-batch artisans).

6/13

Yeti Rambler

Double-vacuum wall insulation keeps hot drinks hot and cold drinks frigid, which is great. But let’s be honest: the real reason to buy this lowball travel cup (intended to be your all-day drinking companion, from first cup of coffee to last nightcap before bed) is that it looks really, really cool.

7/13

Emergency Supply Kit

Perhaps not the most uplifting of gifts, but tell me you don’t know someone who’s convinced we’re rollercoastering towards the End of Times and would really, really to have a backpack full of survival tools handy for when we get there.

(I obviously own this.)

8/13

Phonesoap Smartphone Sanitizer

The jungle habitat currently residing on the surface of my cell phone is something I try very, very hard not to think about.

But when I do think about it, the next thing I think about is that I would very much like it to go away.

9/13

Homesick Candles

These hand-poured, soy wax candles were “formulated with input from locals in individual states for thoughtfully authentic aromas.”

If you’re from New York City, that might mean that you end up with a candle scented with hints of urine amid a lush bouquet of exhaust fumes, but at least it’ll feel like home.

(Kidding. Apparently the scents are all very lovely, with nary a pee molecule in sight.)

10/13

Giraffe Family Bookends

I have a weird thing for decorative shelf items, but especially bookends: they’re decorative! And they sit on your shelf! And they’re functional!

These go one step further: they make my heart happy just to look at them.

11/13

My Life Story, So Far

In the beginning, there was…

Me.

What’s lovely about this gift (which is clearly only for the kind of person who might actually fill it out) is that it contains thoughtful, non-cheesy prompts to remove some of the self-consciousness that can be involved with writing about personal moments.

12/13

Flour Sack Towels

These oversized, super-soft towels – on my own personal wishlist – are pre-washed and extra thick, and baaaasically the most useful kitchen tool ever. (Oh, and they can replace paper towels for virtually any task, making them not just a chic, useful, goop-approved gift, but an eco-friendly one as well.)

13/13

Elwood the Unicorn Cereal Bowl

I literally can’t think of a human being anywhere on the planet whose life would not be made a tiny bit better by getting to eat breakfast out of a unicorn cereal bowl.

  • Melissa Rawlinson

    As another picky person, this list is perfect! Off to send some hints … Thanks!

    • jordanreid

      lol yay!!!!

  • SharonaBop

    I want to know more about the fascia blaster. It seems to have very polarized reviews.

    • jordanreid

      on it! I’m making a video and having francesca contribute her thoughts, because she’s GREAT at explaining how it works and why she loves it (and ohhhh she loves it).