I didn’t really know what to write in my next post after the one I wrote Friday night. I said what I wanted to say, and I won’t be talking about this anymore; the rest is for me to keep. But I didn’t know how to handle it, and I’m not sure I handled it quite right, because I didn’t just wake up, make salads and pastas, and go to a party, and so it feels like that post was in some ways a lie.

The truth wasn’t nearly as simple as that. The truth was – is – much worse. But once I got to the shower I was with people I hadn’t seen in years, celebrating the marriage of one of my oldest friends, someone I love very much…and it was simpler, then. I didn’t have to pretend to be happy; I just was happy. To see how excited my friend was, to be there with her.

It just wasn’t as simple as it sounded. I don’t know what else to say.

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