Above: Jordan in a leather minidress massaging a box of french hand creams for work. Below: Me, trying to imagine what it’s like to be Jordan, lovingly gazing at a half-empty bottle of face toner.
I’m one of those almost-40-year-old middle class white feminists who eschews the patriarchy but then spends like 5% of my income on skincare. Don’t tell me to smile, but if I do, know that 15 tons of retinol is keeping the trout mouth at bay. Is that what retinol even does? Actually, I have no idea. You should probably take beauty advice from me.