You know how all the kids these days are into late eighties/early nineties fashion? Actual, under-the-legal-drinking-age children who don’t even know who Kirk Cameron is are wandering around all “oh I totally invented this bowler hat and chiffon dress look” (no you didn’t, that was Winona Ryder).
Well, my darlings, I’ll see you your velvet choker and flowered baby doll and raise you A DENIM JACKET WITH A PUFFY PASTORAL SCENE ON IT.
Oh you heard me right.
I feel like there are some things that, when discovered, must be purchased regardless of actual appeal or utility in one’s life. Do I have any particular need for a jacket that might actually be the ugliest article of clothing ever created? A jacket that has whales coming out of the pockets?! (Let’s not even get into the procession of cows strolling across the back.)
You better believe I do.
And so when I found that whale-and-cow-bepainted jacket in a thrift store in Nyack for five bucks, I bought it. And I allowed the cashier to look at me like I was out of my mind while she folded the thing into a plastic bag, then allowed Kendrick to stare at me open-mouthed like “you did not just actually pay actual money for that” while I ran around in the snow in it, and said nothing, not one single word in my own defense…
because I knew…
that it’d be kind of…
P.S. On the hunt for your own ridiculous over-embellished denim? Here you go; I saved you a trip to the thrift store: