DIARY

UGH

You want to know how I spent my morning? It was super fun.

See, in that Spirit Of Saying Yes that I wrote about a few weeks back Kendrick and I have started getting out more; accepting dinner invitations, making plans to catch up with people we haven’t seen in ages, et cetera. Yesterday we went into the city for breakfast with two old friends, then decided to go to a party downtown while our kids fell asleep at my parents’ place. And then it seemed like it made the most sense to just let the kids stay asleep; Kendrick would take the train home to deal with the dogs, and I’d drive me + kids back in the morning.

7AM hit, and everything went swimmingly: both kids woke up on time and in decent moods, I got everyone dressed and fed and packed, and we headed towards the front door with exactly enough time to make it to the car and get out of town before 8AM, at which point we would suddenly became illegally parked according to city regulations.

And then I realized:

Kendrick was at home. In Westchester.

And he had taken my car keys home with him.

Oh my goddddd.

And was he answering his phone? Of course not. No kids present = Dad coma, apparently. And so I convinced my neighbor to let herself into our house and surprise (a.k.a. scare the everloving shit out of) my husband while he snoozed soundly in bed, at which point he was instructed to get in the car IMMEDIATELY and drive into the city – in rush-hour traffic, just to make it all extra-exciting – to deliver me the keys.

And so I spent the next two hours standing in the freezing cold waiting for him while trying to convince one tow truck after another that no, seriously, the car keys will be arriving any minute, you really don’t need to tow me I promise I am so nice and lovable and may crumble in the face of a car-tow situation can I buy you a cup of coffee sir?

On the plus side, my mom brought down coffee for me to drink while I waited, so my fingers didn’t fall off, and I was wearing a far more practical coat than I would ordinarily find myself wearing in such a circumstance.

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On the minus side, I was also wearing an outfit – the stained cropped sweatpants I slept in plus the massive heels I wore yesterday, and leftover eye makeup because I forgot to bring eye makeup remover to the city – that very much suggested “walk of shame.” Which is a super classy thing to look like you’re doing with two very small children in tow.

Anyway, I’m home. Excellent start to the week, whee.

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