Love

Where It’s At

Alright, so for those of you who are curious, here’s where we stand:

1. The house we had an accepted offer on fell through during inspections.

2. The house we originally fell in love with and lost started to fall through with the people who won it from us during the bidding war, and we were given another opportunity to make an offer, but then it didn’t fall through after all, and so we lost it for a second time.

3. We got all over-the-moon about another house (pictured above), which as a bonus was well within our Comfort Zone price range, and made an offer on it…and then yesterday we lost it in yet another bidding war.

I have to be honest, I’m about ready to give up. I’m just exhausted.

Also: I mean, obviously I’m not going to give up. And it’s true that job + childcare + looking for a house is a bunch to take on, but it’s doable with a little extra sleep-deprivation. And I really don’t want to sound like I’m having a Pity Party For One over here; like I said before, I get that this is a wonderful opportunity and I am so fortunate to be embarking on this journey at all…but…I mean, people told me it would be stressful.

But it is stressful. Italics-stressful.

Beyond all the time and the running around…the emotional weight of picturing a new life for yourself over and over and over, and then letting go of that life that you pictured over and over and over…in a way, it feels like you’re saying goodbye to memories each and every time you lose a place. Memories that haven’t happened yet…

but still.

And every time a property falls through, I can’t help but feel like I’m letting down my son in some small way. Is that crazy? Of course it’s crazy. But I want him to have the world, and I’m struggling with the idea that I’m having trouble giving him this one thing. Which is a big thing…

but still.

But hey, the longer we stay in this apartment the more money we save, and I suppose more properties will be coming on the market in the weeks to come, and…I mean, eventually someone will pick us, right?

Someday?

(Crickets.)

  • I have been exactly where you are.  Repeatedly.  People kept telling me to not get so attached to a house, to think of it like a business transaction, but I found that impossible.  Things are working out now because something better is around the bend.  Hang in there!  The right one will work out, but you will probably still have to have a melt-down/freak-out or two.

  • Agspivey

    I’m so sorry. That is frustrating and stressful. We went through that too. Eventually you will find the right house at the right price and it will all work out. And you will be glad because the house you end up with will be so much better than the one’s that you didn’t.

  • Stephanie

    Buying a house is always stressful, even when everything is
    moving in the right direction (ya know, towards actually moving in). BUT I find
    that when you’re down, and you really just want to throw in the towel and go
    back to bed and never get out again, somehow something always seems to work
    out. In a couple of years you’ll look back and none of the stress will even
    matter because you’ll be moved in and working towards building a life in a home
    that you own (or a least own the debt on, right?). Something, somewhere, will
    come on the market that you love and when the time is right it’ll be yours.
    Some things are just fate, and you just gotta hang in there!! You can do it!!

  • Alanalinette

    Jordan!  Trust me – you will find the house that’s PERFECT for you and your family.  Buying a home is so stressful, especially in these times.  People don’t realize that unless your budget is eleventy million dollars, you have lots of competition for reasonably-priced homes.  My husband and I put offers on six (yes, SIX) houses before we finally got our home.  Each time we put in an offer, we were just positive that that  was the house for us, so losing each one was devastating.  However, we came to understand that there are many houses out there and we would find the one for our family to grow and love.  Which is exactly what happened, so keep faith!  Best of luck in your search.  Also, you rock.

    • jordanreid

      There’s so much competition! I REALLY (naively) didn’t expect that going in; it’s been such a shock.

  • shilpi

    Jordan, I’m sure you guys will find something. We just went through a looooonnng home buying process in ’11. Here’s my advice: be detached. zen-style. The market is so strong for sellers right now, there really isn’t too much available… you can’t control those things. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and i’m sure you’ll find the right fit eventually!

    • jordanreid

      Zen-style. That’s great advice.

  • hang in there!

  • raiiin

    have you guys looked at not quite ready for move in houses?  short sales and foreclosures?

    but yes, looking for a house is a bitch. i know that this time of the year is also ‘prime time’ for house buying so maybe things will look better come end of summer, early fall. and also maybe you can start looking at houses in nj so we can be neighbors ha! ; )

    • jordanreid

      we have, but for houses like that we’d need them to be inexpensive enough that we’d have money leftover to do those necessary-for-move-in repairs…and we just haven’t found anything like that (well, except for the last place, but let’s not dwell). and also, i initially thought i’d want a place that needed work…but something about moving to a new town with a small baby and not knowing anyone is scary enough; i guess i just realized after awhile that i wanted the place to feel…safe. in other words: i didn’t want to have to do any structural repairs; only cosmetic stuff.

      if you have any recommendations for towns in nj with reasonable commute to the city/affordable housing/good schools/cute towns, i would LOVE to hear them!

  • OhThatLaura

    Jordan, fear not! House hunting season really starts in the next two weeks? Why? People try timing this around school being out over the summer. Don’t fret, new listings will be on the scene soon — I’m sure of it!

    • jordanreid

      oh, good to know! i’m excited to see what new stuff pops up.