(Disclaimer: I am obviously not a doctor, so please: take any medical advice I dole out with the requisite grain of salt. If you have a fever of 101F or higher, experience shortness of breath or stabbing abdominal or chest pains, expel colored mucus, or have any symptoms that last more than 7-10 days, see your doctor.)
MY EX-BOYFRIEND’S GO-TO FEVER REMEDY
1. Draw a bath, as hot as you can stand.
2. Climb in the bath with a hot toddy*, and drink the entire thing, no matter how miserably sweaty and overheated you get. Stay in the bath as long as you can stand, or until it begins to cool.
3. Immediately climb into bed and cover yourself with every single blanket in your house. You’ll be sweating profusely and desperate to throw them off, but don’t: the goal is for you to fall asleep, and for your fever to break. When I first tried this I woke up in a pool of sweat…but with a normal temperature.
Again, not a doctor…but it works for me. Try this at your own risk.
Combine the following ingredients in a large mug:
1-2 shots brandy or whiskey
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
1 cup hot water
1 tea bag (I use English Breakfast)
Optional: cinnamon stick