Posts Tagged: The Big Move

DIARY

Goodbye Girl

wavy beach hair ocean

A few weeks ago, I stopped getting texts from my friends.

Not all of them; just two in particular - two of my closest friends in my town, the two friends I made when I first moved here. We started hanging out because we all have sons the same age, and then we kept hanging out because we liked each other so much. And now we just hang out, because we're a part of each other's lives and that's that.

One of the things I was really worried about when we left the city was making friends. I wrote about this a lot: I had this vision of spending playdates making stilted conversation with "friends" who were really just people I hung out with because it was convenient, not because either of us actually wanted to. And then I met my friends - those two women I met when I first moved, and then another and another and another - and they were smart and thoughtful and funny and compassionate and made me feel like I could talk to them about anything at all, and so I did.

DIARY

At The End Of The Ride

green gold painted chair

Six years ago, when my life changed, it started with a chair.

I've written here many times about the struggle that life in my late twenties was; how crushed I felt by the weight of just how much I had turned out to not be what I'd hoped to become. I was stuck in a job that I hated, in a life that felt millions of miles away from the life I'd dreamed of as a little girl, and there was a time - a long time, actually - when I couldn't see how any moment in the future could possibly bring with it something better. Or even something different.

And then, at a party late one night, I met a girl who did something called "blogging." I'd heard of blogging, sort of - I mean, I had a rough idea of what a blog was, had even started a hidden Blogger account documenting my worst dates (oh my god), and read Perez Hilton like it was my part-time job - but I certainly didn't know it was something that one could even consider doing for a living. And yet this girl seemed to, somehow...and at that moment I was so desperate for something to change that when she asked me to do an "audition" of sorts to become a contributor for her site, I said yes without a moment's hesitation.

Entertaining

A Garden Party to Celebrate (And Say Good-Bye)

This weekend's party was beautiful to look at, but even more beautiful to be at.

You know, ever since I was a little girl I've gotten a bit teary every time a party comes to a close: once the food is eaten and the drinks are drunk and the candles are burning down and everyone’s gone and it’s just me and Kendrick puttering around, picking up discarded glasses and plates and wiping down countertops and floors, I look around and think wait.

Come back.

DIARY

Blank Spaces

pack house for move

We're about halfway packed - my strategy is to do at least a couple of boxes every day - and about five weeks from the date of our departure (officially May 21st), and the house is starting to fill up with emptiness.

It's hard, watching these rooms that I put together so carefully - and loved so much - get broken down. Dust from the endless boxes getting dragged up from the basement is settling into the cracks along the sideboards; all the photos are wrapped up in plastic; we're eating meals off of the same four dishes every day, because they're the only ones left that I haven't packed. With each passing day, our house feels less like "our house," and more like a place we're staying in for the time being, before moving on to the next thing.

And not knowing what that "next thing" is - because we still don't* - makes it harder to let go of what we do know.

Lifestyle

How Much House Can You Afford?

jordan reid

Look! It's stressed-out us, thinking about things.

House house house house house.

I know; I'm sorry. But I literally cannot think about anything else right now. Which makes sense: our house is presently filled top to bottom with boxes and bubble wrap. I now talk to our broker more than I talk to anyone else in my life, including my mother and husband (which is actually pretty fun because she's super cool). And it doesn't even stop when I go to sleep, because my dreams consist of house tours and failed offers and a large dose of panic.

Lifestyle

How To Win A Bidding War (And Whether You Should Write A Letter To The Sellers)

OK, so I think we can all agree: bidding wars ARE THE WORST. You get all crazy emotional, and start laying awake at night picturing your new life between your new walls, and come up with your highest and best offer, and then someone swoops in all WHEE I HAVE SO MUCH MONEYYYY and you can't even compete but you try to, and start offering more and more and more, and then don't get it anyway, and:

-> tears.

Anyway, I've been through a few bidding wars over the course of my life as a homeowner (six, to be precise, with another one on the horizon this week). I have also been on the other side, as a seller. And what I have learned is that there is nothing you can do to control the outcome (short of having unlimited reserves of cash, in which case that's wonderful and also you are probably reading the wrong website), but there is a whole lot you can do to tip the scales in your favor.

Are any of these things going to for-sure win you the house? No. But they will make it more likely, and "more likely" is better than "less likely," am I right?

Lifestyle

Let’s Talk House-Buying Logistics

Don't you love it when the word "logistics" is in a post title?

Doesn't that make you DESPERATE to read it??

But seriously: Enough people said that they want to know about how we're handling things like the great Rent vs. Buy debate, school choice, and home selection that I'm convinced that at least some of you will be able to keep your eyes from glazing over. (I mean, I certainly don't find this stuff boring - I think real estate is totally Grand Drama, and kind of the most fascinating topic ever, but I also get that I definitely didn't want to talk about, like, taxes and variances and school districts in my former life as a non-parent-y rental apartment-dweller.)

DIARY

Holding Pattern

This trip has not gone exactly as I planned.

I had this fantasy of what was going to happen: we were going to spend a couple of days looking at every house on the market in a good school district within our price range (which is a total of about twelve), then spend a couple of days making offers and dealing with logistics while also slotting in some fun - a trip to the Children's Discovery Museum, maybe, or the pony farm at Half Moon Bay. (I'll write about how the house hunting part went later; I'm feeling all superstitious and want to see how it comes out in the wash before I make any predictions.)

And then that "carsick" thing that I mentioned the other day? Turned out to be one of those 24-hour bugs. And on the way to urgent care with Indy at 7AM to make sure it was nothing more than that, I discovered that whoops, I had it too (and let me tell you: I discovered this in basically the most dramatic way possible; I won't go into details because eww, but…EWW). So post urgent-care, we spent the day doing literally nothing while doing our best to inhale as much Pedialyte and water as possible, respectively. We did so much "nothing," in fact, that it became actually kind of fun in its own way - our B&B was cozy, and airy, and there's something to be said for a day of cartoons and not much else.

There was even one moment, right before we went to bed, when we were laying on the pillow and looking at each other and just smiling, and Indy reached out and stroked my cheek, in exactly the same way I stroke his when he's feeling bad. It made the entire day - this whole trip, this whole move, this whole life - just…worth it. Kids have a way of doing that, right when you need it most.

DIARY

All Those I Don’t Knows

I write a lot here about how nervous I am about this move. How I wonder where we will live, and how my work will translate to a whole new state, and how our life will look once we're out on the other side. I write about me me me because this site is about many things but mostly what's going on in my head, but trust me:

It does not escape me that this is a big deal not just for myself and Kendrick, but for the whole family. And mostly for Indy.

We're out here in South Bay (is it "the" South Bay? Or just "South Bay"?) house hunting and getting to know the area we're going to live in better, and yesterday we were at lunch, and I looked at my son and thought what a cool thing, you know, getting to go on a trip all alone with him. Before Goldie was born I spent a lot of time wondering whether I'd ever get this again - this special time just hanging out, just us two - and while I don't feel like the time that we get to spend together has lessened now that she's here, it's still not all that often that I get to sit with him, asking him questions and listening to his answers and just being there.

That's why I decided to take him with me, you know: because he's going to remember this. And I want him to know that he gets time with his family, time with his sister, time with his dad, and time with me - all of us get to have adventures, together and separately and every which way. I thought about this trip a lot when I was in Florida with my own dad. I hope I get chances to spend time like this with my son forever.


powered by chloédigital