This is so much more delicious than you think it is.

I was at Mollie's house last weekend for a pre-Easter parade lunch, and MAN do she and her husband ever feed us well when we're there. (The dishes generally include a lot of mayo. I am okay with that.) Her husband made deviled eggs that were so delicious that I ended up eating my daughter's leftovers. By which I mean the leftover bites that had actually been in her mouth, and that she had decided needed to come out again. (If you are a parent, you know this is relatively normal and often your best chance of getting to eat anything over the course of the day. If you are not...sorry.) I learned that HoneyBaked Ham isn't just...like, ham baked in honey, but an actual thing that people wait on interminably long lines to buy (and I totally get why because oh my GOD it's so good). And finally, I ate - with considerable reluctance - a broccoli salad.

When faced with a table of deviled eggs and ham (and pumpkin muffins and potato salad and mimosas), my default tactic is to skip the green stuff, lest it take up valuable space in my stomach that could otherwise be dedicated to muffin-consumption. But then I overheard Kendrick saying about Mollie's broccoli salad, "Oh wow, there's bacon in this?" and Mollie said, "Yup!" and okay fiiiiiiiiiiine if I have to, I'll try it. Reluctantly.

Cactus leaf

Let me start this post with a caveat: unless you are already at least somewhat into juicing and used to buying copious quantities of fruits and vegetables and leafy things (or are a blogger trying to make something cool to write about, ahem), you are probably going to have to leave the cactus out of this recipe if you're ever going to actually make it. Because let me tell you: de-spining a cactus leaf is no small job, and I have a very sad finger right now to prove it.

You might, at this point, be asking yourself what I am doing holding a cactus in the first place, let alone trying to drink it. Because I've been pretty clear about the fact that, try as I might, I am not a green juice person. I pick up a couple of pre-made bottles in Whole Foods from time to time when I'm feeling guilty about my various excesses, but within a day or two I typically remember that there are things that taste better than green juice, like everything, and start eating and drinking those things instead.