Some Words For My Pregnant Self

My heart.

When we found out we were expecting our first child nearly nine years ago (!) I was unprepared to the point of near-lunacy. I ended my club-girl partying days approximately one second before we decided to try for a baby, lived in a one-bedroom fourth-story walkup with holes in the floor and an oven that wanted to kill us, and had exactly zero friends with children (in addition to having no siblings or immediate, close-by family members with kids).

The second time around, I was better prepared. I knew to advocate for myself. I knew that PPD was a real thing, and that I was likely to have it. I knew what I needed (diapers) and what I did not (10,000 newborn-sized onesies).

In the video above, I – and a bunch of other not-so-new moms – offer a little advice to our pregnant selves. Tinyhood, if you aren’t familiar with the company, offers baby courses led by experts to prepare new parents for everything from breastfeeding to sleep (and all remotely, woooo) – their Baby 101 course is especially popular. They also just launched Tinyhood Sessions, which are basically virtual support groups for the modern parent. So if you’re about to embark on a baby journey, you can get 15% off of any of their courses using code JORDAN15.

P.S. Speaking of my pregnant self, scroll down past the shameless plug of The Big Fat Activity Book for Pregnant People to read about a bunch more things I wish she’d known.

The Big Fat Activity Book for Pregnant People


10 Lessons I've Learned Since Becoming A Mom (Twice)

It’s not just “okay” to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing…it’s a pre-requisite for inclusion in the Mom Club. When it comes to parenting, nobody knows what they’re doing (and if they tell you they do, they are either making shit up, a unicorn, or Neil Patrick Harris, who is awesome at everything).


If You Only Ask: My Postpartum Depression Journey

For so many years, I tried to prove – to others? to myself? I’m not sure – that I could handle things (everything) on my own just fine, thanks. And then I had children, and I realized that much more important than making some point I wasn’t even certain I believed in was being the best version of myself I could be, because that’s what they deserve. A mother who is there.

And making the commitment to being there? That’s its own kind of heroism, I think.


The Birth Experience: Acting As Your Own Advocate

The birth of my first child was deeply traumatic. With my second, I was determined not to repeat the experience.


The Mom Who Just "Up and Leaves"

No one has ever asked my husband “Who’s watching the kids?” when he goes on a business trip. Or ever.

I get asked that question all the time.


The Post I Wish I'd Read Before Having My Second Child

I loved the months leading up to the birth of my second child – all that special time I got with my son, who was finally becoming a person. I dreaded giving them up and returning to the madness of the baby stage. More than anything, though, I was scared that the new baby would take away from my relationship with Indy.


Please, Please (Please?) Stop Telling Me "It Goes So Fast"

I know it’s a message that comes from a benevolent place. It’s intended to make harried, overwhelmed new parents stop and think and realize how lucky they are.

Except that’s never the effect it actually has.


Breastfeeding Wasn't How I Expected It To Be

For a long, long time I was afraid to touch this subject, because I was afraid of what my choices might say about me.


On Second-Time Motherhood And Still Being A Mess

Here’s the thing: when you are a new-new mom of your first child, you get to be a disaster. Everyone expects you to be a disaster, including yourself. As a second-timer, though, you don’t get to collapse, or be a mess, because guess what? There’s someone right there who DGAF if you’re tired and don’t feel like making pasta with butter; he would like it now thanks and when you’re done could you please read Llama Llama Mad At Mama twelve times in a row?

Except even if you “don’t get to be a mess”? You still are.

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