In Which I Discover The Gloriousness That Is Cardi B.

OK, so I don’t exactly know who Cardi B. is. I know she’s a singer, but couldn’t tell you any of her songs. I have a vague memory of her being a…Real Housewife, maybe? Or some kind of reality person? And then…getting in a fight with…someone? Who didn’t think she should be a singer?

So we’ve established I’m not super up-to-date on the goings-on with this particular individual. But I do love a good celebrity fashion line collaboration – mostly because the vast majority of them are SO BAD – and so when I saw all the headlines this morning about how CARDI B’S NEW FASHION LINE SOLD OUT IN FOUR HOURS!!!!! I obviously needed to investigate.

And now?

I am obsessed with Cardi B.’s fashion line, which I think might mean I’m obsessed with her. Because she clearly had a serious say in the creative direction of the line – I’m certain of that, in fact, because the pieces are so insane that I cannot imagine how else they could have come to fruition – and if she is anything like her clothing, I would like to be her best friend.

Shall we look at the five best (IMO) pieces?


P.S. The pieces are all sold out right now, but you can click the little “Notify Me When Available” button on them if you’re as into this whole thing as I am.


Never Get Cold Fur Coat

Sure, there’s not a super high demand for full-length fur coats in California, but whatever: I’d just wear this thing around the house, like a robe, and be FABULOUS.


Young And Heartless Sweater

This is not a sweater. This is a piece of a sweater. And I can hear my mom yelling “BUT YOUR CHEST WILL GET COLD” from all the way across the country.

Don’t care; want to wear it.


Got It Like That Coat

Here is another item of clothing that has absolutely no business being in my closet.

But oh, it will be.


Backin' It Up Velvet Pant

You have to see the rear view on these things.

They are perfect.


I Like Stunntin Jacket

What is this? Who would wear it? Where would they wear it? Why are there two “n”s in “Stunntin”? What does “Stunntin” MEAN?

These are all questions I would like to have Cardi B. answer personally, whenever possible.

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