DIARY

Tiny Little Things

Getting there.

Next to my bed, there is a white nightstand, on top of which sits a glass lamp, a stack of US Weeklys that I’ll probably never get around to reading, and a half-empty La Croix can. It’s exactly the same assortment of stuff that sat on my nightstand a week ago, with one little difference: the outlets aren’t loose, so I don’t have to jam the nightstand up against the light plug to hold it into the wall.

It’s a tiny thing.

It’s nice.

Other tiny, nice things that happened this weekend:

My father made me insane, as fathers do, but he also sat next to me in my backyard while I cried and held my hand.

My neighbors – what seemed like all of them – came by to say hi. They left sweet notes on my door with suggestions for the best farmers markets. They brought over orchids, bottled water, and a cold Modelo. We hugged, and exchanged numbers, and talked about succulents.

A longtime Internet friend – dating back to the NonSociety days (omg) – who I’ve never met in person before but who now lives just an exit away from me brought over a bottle of wine, ugly pumpkins (the very best kind) for my fireplace, and Halloween cookie-making kits for my kids. We plopped down on the floor in my empty living room and talked about things I didn’t know you could talk about with someone new to your life. Like everything.

Afternoon nap + cat photobomb

I took multiple afternoon naps, because I could

I installed the Ferrari of security systems, and my doors now talk to me in gentle, dulcet tones (“Front door…opening”).

I did not have Internet for three entire days, and that was okay.

I found out that I can see the Kardashians and/or Drake from my backyard (go look at my IG stories). This is obviously huge, and obviously necessitates the creation of new hashtags. I’m feeling #RamshackleSpyCam and #KardashianAdjacent, but am open to suggestion.

Lucy fell in the pool six more times, but a) turns out to be quite the talented swimmer and b) seems to have figured out where the step is now.

My cats finally emerged from the cabinet where they had spent the first two days hiding from That Evil Person Who Puts Them in Bags (me).

I found a really good pizza place that will (reluctantly) deliver to me.

I discovered that I live in paradise. I feel silly-lucky. And happy. And home.

  • Lala Fantasy

    The most laughable misrepresentation of divorce I have ever seen. Where are the bluebirds from Snow White?

    First of all, no-one gets their divorce processed through a court system in a month.
    Second of all, only !% princesses end up in “paradise” because their daddy paid for a house with a pool. Most divorces end up with someone sleeping on a couch somewhere. With people having to deal with it all whilst going to work, not taking naps! You’re hilarious. Take a nap love, your privileged life is so hard. And then take some photos of yourself having a nap.

    Stop this strong, independent woman garbage, you are an insult to those of us who are truly independent, ie those of us who had jobs since the age of 18, those of us who funded their own education, to those of us who lived alone before the age of 25, to those of us who don’t depend on their parents or a man’s salary.

    You wanted a separation, you got it. Stop acting like poor, withering victim who wants headpats because she managed to kill a spider in her late thirties. You’ll be out chasing your next celebutante boyfriend within a month.

    • Beffgus

      Who hurt you?

    • Class Versus Sass

      You are on another person’s website trolling their divorce experience…that isn’t the image of someone who has it together or is independent. Stop whining, projecting your own insecurities on another person and making everything about you…and while your at it, grow up too.

    • JenniferP

      You’re a jerk.

    • Staci Lawrence

      FUCK YOU – you obviously are miserable need professional help. Please get it and leave Jordan alone.

  • Jenn

    It really does look like paradise, and I appreciate your ability to find the beauty and focus on that during a very difficult time.

    • jordanreid

      <3

  • sara watson

    You always seem to get the best neighbours! Any young kids around to play with yours?

    • jordanreid

      Yes, a bunch!!!

  • m

    you live in the Kardashian’s neighborhood… how?!!?
    That view though.. wow

    • jordanreid

      haha I don’t – I just have a view of it from my backyard.

  • pika

    Long time reader, first time commenter… I don’t agree with the tone of Lala Fantasy, but I too found this post jarring. I get that you’re trying to find happiness in the midst of upheaval, but as a reader, it seems… flippant, especially towards your kids. I don’t know what’s on your mind, obviously, so I’m just commenting on what you put forward. You talk about the Kardashians and #SPYCAM and the Ferrari of security systems, but not about where your kids will sleep. Or what their bedroom will look like. Or… anything. You said previously that they’re doing great and they will have a trampoline and a pool… and it’s the flippant shortness of that statement that just makes me sad. Transitions are much more complex than that. Maybe you’re just glossing over the hard parts, I don’t know, but this post struck me as bizarre.

    • mk

      Same.

    • jordanreid

      I’m always cautious when I write about my children – I try to keep the focus here on *my* experiences as a parent – and am feeling especially protective during this time. I’m sure I’ll post pictures of their rooms and how I end up decorating them, etc, but I won’t be writing about them in the context of our divorce; it’s sufficient, I think, to know that they are happy, and healthy, and excited about the move, and have two parents who love them and make them the absolute top priority at all times.

  • Val

    Some readers are evidently under the mistaken impression that Jordan is somehow obligated to present to us an unfiltered, documentary-style account of all the events in her life.

    It’s not that she’s misrepresenting her life as it is this week; she’s simply choosing to write about the things that inspire her to write. That’s how creative nonfiction works. An idea for a piece presents itself, and the writer expands that one tiny idea into an essay, which might be super narrow in scope. Maybe later on, Jordan will feel like writing about the shitty parts of moving, or how she scheduled a week’s worth of blog and social media posts to give herself time to move and settle in before jumping back into full-time work. And maybe she won’t write about those things at all.

    I realize that Jordan has cultivated a following here, in large part based on her personal narrative. She seems to understand, appreciate, and honor that in a way that feels, to me, very genuine (and generous). She’s given a TON of herself here, intimately, and it doesn’t make sense to feel that we are owed anything beyond what she’s comfortable presenting in such a public forum. That said, I’m amazed she’s been able to put together a single coherent piece of writing in the last month. The fact that she’s still turning out beautifully written blog posts based on current happenings in her life is, in my opinion, Jordan going above and beyond to fulfill the unspoken agreement between blogger and readers.

    Jordan chooses to write what she’s comfortable and inspired to write about. That’s the deal. It’s her blog. We, as readers, choose to read. Or not. The end.

    • Val

      . . . and how wretched do you have to be to begrudge someone having a supportive, loving family?

    • jordanreid

      thank you.

      that is exactly how the writing process works – at least for me. at some point during the day, a germ of an idea burrows in, and then I roll with whatever that is; it’s the only way I’ve ever written. sometimes the focus is very broad, and sometimes it’s very narrow. sometimes it’s just about pants, either because I’m thinking about pants, or because I’m thinking about other things that are too complex to put into words at the present moment, and so I decide that it’s a good idea to write about pants that day. but of course no matter what I write, it’s always just a piece of the whole story.

      I have friends who’ve said that they can tell when something’s wrong with me by what I write, even if I don’t mention anything being “wrong” at all. I apparently have “tells,” and I’m sure others who’ve been reading here a long time are tuned into them, too. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for this community, and this kind of support – and as for the parts I leave out, I always have my reasons, and they’re never about trying to shape any kind of alternative narrative or obscure the truth about a situation.

      so. thank you for understanding that. and for being understanding, generally. DAMN the women who read here are amazing.

      • Val

        You know, I’ve been through some harrowing shit in the last few years – up to and including the horror show that is our current political situation – and the biggest positive take-away for me has been witnessing women all over coming together to support each other.

        I participated in an art/fashion/costume show last weekend. It was forty-five women of all shapes and sizes, dressed in costumes made by a (truly amazing) friend of mine. One of the things my friend, the artist, said in her talk before the show was, “I want to be a woman like me.” She gave that to us as a sort of mantra. That has stuck with me. You hear all the time that you should learn to love yourself, be comfortable in your own skin, etc etc etc ad nauseum. And that was just another way to say the same thing; but somehow the simplicity of wanting to be a woman like me sounds so appealing, and so easy. It doesn’t require doing anything differently, or changing myself at all. Or even loving myself right this minute. Just wanting to be someone like me, and re-framing my view toward seeing myself as a woman I want to be like. Pretty powerful. Not saying you have any self-esteem or confidence issues — I certainly don’t; but we all have doubts and it never hurts to be reminded of how ok you are. Especially when the world around you is crumbling – that’s when it feels like you have to be *extra* capable, and when it’s hardest.

        So, take care of the women around you; we are all getting beat up these days. A lot of taking care of each other among me and my friends is simply listening and saying “you’re okay. I’ve got your back.” And: want to be a woman like you. That’s what I’ve got. Oh, and I’m trying to get into yoga, which I do NOT have the patience for. But if you can do it, that inspires me; because you do not strike me as a person with the patience for yoga. So, thanks for giving me hope in that department. Ha. <3

  • MamaBear

    I am very saddened by the extremely sexist comments from one independent
    woman to another. I think we should be supportive, not kick another
    woman down while she is trying to rebuild her life. She has been
    generous enough to share her process and insights with us, and I thank
    her for it. She might not be doing things the way you would chose, but
    this woman is trying her best to figure out her path. Also, why do you
    write her “daddy paid for a house with a pool”. If by her daddy you mean
    her PARENTS (hello, her mom is an amazing and capable professional
    woman, as well as being a supportive mother), why begrudge her if her
    parents have helped her during this difficult time. Isn’t that what
    ever parent wants to be able to provide for their children, a safety net
    when they need it most? I’m not saying her parents helped her one
    iota, but if it is true then that’s a wonderful thing that she has such
    generous and wonderful parents who have the means to help her.

    Let’s go back to some basic principles, and let kindness and generosity prevail when we interact with each other.

    • jordanreid

      cosign in a big way. a constant theme over the years that I’ve been writing here has been the “accusation” that my “daddy” (or kendrick, or some other male figure in my life) is supporting me, or financing me. the levels in which this is problematic are MASSIVE, starting with the fact that, as you said, EXCUSE ME but my mom is a partner in her own law firm, and nobody’s “daddy” is running the show. second, the assumption that I can’t possibly support myself without a man. I’ve historically been the higher earner in our family, and am not getting support from kendrick now (or from my parents, for that matter, although I’m sure if I absolutely needed their help they’d help me to the best of their abilities). but the fact that I feel compelled to explain this – over and over and over and overrrrrr – is such BS. even if I didn’t support myself, and was getting help from kendrick, or my family – what would be so terrible about that? everyone goes through times when they need help. I guarantee you if francesca ever found herself in a tight situation I’d be there for her, and I know she’d do the same. if my parents need me, I’m there. if I need them, they’re there. we’re a village, and we step in for each other when need be. it’s a beautiful thing, and shouldn’t hold even the suggestion of shame.

      this kind of language is so damaging. we need to be better than this.

      • Jocelyn

        Can we go back to your Mom being a partner in her own law firm!? Damn! So impressed! I feel like you once mentioned she went to law school after you were born, is that right or did I make it up? Would love some details…perhaps a little interview with the OG for RG? (See what I did there? 😉

  • Linds

    Have you ever shared (or will you) what happened to NonSociety? That’s how I found you but you were the only one that actually wrote good content.

powered by chloédigital