DIARY

What I Did On My Ramshackle Break

Me + Mom photobomb, in Francesca’s apartment on Friday afternoon.

So there you go: That was the single longest time I have stepped away from this website in ten years. It wasn’t because I wanted to; trust me – it just turns out that separating from one’s spouse while simultaneously trying to sell a house, pack a house, find a house, and expand one’s career is a bit of a time-suck.

Here is what I did between Thursday and today (Sunday), while I was (mostly) away from the Internet:

Hung out with my mom, who flew out because of a phone conversation that ended with me planting my forehead on the kitchen floor (which she could not see) and wailing like someone was ripping out my heart (which she could most certainly hear). My parents are not “jump to the rescue when our daughter needs us” types, generally speaking…but it turns out that when I really, really, really need them? They show up. The very next morning.

Painted floorboards and grouted tiles and replaced can lights and stood on a lot of ladders to put allllll the finishing touches on the house. Sidenote: Did you know that having three animals and two children in one’s house makes it very, very hard to keep said house pristine and show-able at virtually all times? There has been much driving-around-the-neighborhood-and-hiding-in-various-restaurants-while-people-tour-our-home. On the bright side, I discovered a really very excellent little Mexican place with $4 burritos. And right this very moment I’m sitting in Cheesecake Factory because an open house is going on, and Cheesecake Factory is GREAT.

Hosted my NYC friend Anna (pictured above), who is selling her own house and thus the best possible houseguest to have while my house is on the market, as she actually staged the loft bed where she slept before departing (thank you Anna).

Percolated a bunch on exactly what kinds of services I’m offering to brands in order to get this new business of mine off the ground, and decided that the plan is to work on retainer with brands that want the ability to get in constant, ongoing content on a tight timeframe, without the hassle of finding someone to create content whenever the need arises (which is theoretically all the time). Still percolating, but going in a good direction (and one that I’m excited about), I think. This part of my life feels sort of like a happy heart attack, if you can picture that.

Flew to Los Angeles, where my mom and I stayed overnight at Francesca’s apartment and I tried very, very, very hard to obey all of the dictums that come along with staying in your friend’s very adorable and pristine place, including NO BAGS ON TABLES (she is so weird about bags on tables).

black and white iro boots

Acquired a pair of Iro boots that Francesca found on TheRealReal and that turned out (sadly for her, but very happily for me) to be a hair too small for her. Yeeee.

Went out (!) with my friends Naia and Paige, and made all sorts of noises about going home right after dinner, and then allowed myself to be convinced to stay out until ELEVEN (what).

Toured several potential houses in the school districts that we’re interested in. And cried in only one! (It was so bad. Tears weren’t optional.)

Drove past 1,354,692 signs warning about earthquakes, fires, and the possibility that the entire state may fall into the ocean any day now, and plied my mother with cheddar cheese biscuits to keep her from panicking. (We are not moving to any scary fire-y mountains; don’t worry).

Mayyyybe – maybe maybe maybe – found the perrrrrfect place, assuming all goes well. It’s on my IG and in my IG stories, if you’re interested.

Returned home to a pool party with Alisa and Erin and their families. Ate Costco potato salad and hamburgers and ice cream cake, and hid on my front porch for awhile, swinging in a hammock all alone while the sun set, thinking about how I am going to miss this life of ours so, so very much.

  • CJ

    Sorry if you’ve already answered this somewhere, but why are you moving to LA?

    Also, have you and Kendrick decided to divorce? I’m assuming so if you’re moving to LA, but I thought you were still just separated as of now. Again, I could have missed something 🙂

    • jordanreid

      Hi! That’s an excellent question (and no, the answer is not that I want to be an actress, haha. That ship has SAILED.)
      My reasoning for moving to LA is this:
      1) Silicon Valley is the most expensive city in the country, and we moved here for K’s job. I’m a writer, and do not need to live here, and we cannot afford two separate households in Silicon Valley.
      2) Given that I’m trying to move my career in the direction of creating branded content for brands directly (while continuing to work with brands on RG), and that my primary focal areas are home decor, fashion, and beauty, LA provides more work opportunities for me.
      3) I love California, and don’t want to leave – and the only two areas in California where I feel safe and confident and happy are the two places where I have wonderful friends: San Jose and LA. Which brings me back to point 1) above.
      It’s a lot, though, and I’m just trying to take it one day at a time.

      • CJ

        This reminds me–re: being an actress– whatever happened to the pilot you were shooting this past spring in New York? Do you have any more info on if that will be moving forward?

        • jordanreid

          I posted about it awhile back, but the short story is that the department of the network that purchased the show apparently SHUT DOWN. like, in the middle of finalizing the order of…I think it was 18 episodes? it was a relief because I was honestly panicking about the amount of travel that the show was going to require (we’re talking like half the year on the road) and didn’t see how that would work with the whole being-a-parent thing, but was also extremely upsetting because I really did LOVE doing the show, and my cohost and the whole team and I became so close, and it was just so much fun, and so exciting, and such a learning experience.
          here’s the post where I wrote about it, if you’re interested: http://www.ramshackleglam.com/2017/05/17/life-updates-presents/
          In the post I said that other networks were considering it, but I’m going to go ahead and assume that the ship has sailed, considering it’s been over a year.

  • JPoloski

    Also sorry if you’ve covered this before, but is Kendrick staying in San Jose? Major props to you for handling everything so beautifully (and only crying in one house!) Best of luck.

    • jordanreid

      Apologies – I just so don’t want to speak for K.

      Thank you, though – I really, really appreciate it <3 <3 <3

  • maria

    even though I’m super excited for you and your new life, I’m going to miss all the family posts (especially the travel videos!). I feel like in the last 10 years I grew up along side you. I could identify with you on every stage of life perfectly (married life, babies, buying a home, decorating, moving) and now this new direction of your blog (and life) feels foreign to me. You will definitively gain new followers, and I will definitively stick around to see where life takes you. Good luck on the house hunting! and I’m also curious about the below questions if you are willing to answer. 🙂

    • jordanreid

      well, hopefully we still have some family traveling in our future – like I said, love is not our problem <3

  • KL

    Hard no for bags on tables. Bags are effectively the bottoms of shoes. Francesca knows what’s up.

    • jordanreid

      ugh, THERE ARE TWO OF YOU.

      lolllll.

  • SharonaBop

    Jordan—

    That is a whole lot of life change in a short amount of time, but you seem to be handling it as well as anyone could. Life is fraught with messiness — it ain’t a glamour picnic on Insta. Thanks for keeping it real on the internets. Your voice does have a ripple effect. You never know who’s out there (beyond vitriolic trolls) who may relate and may find some encouragement and courage from your words.

    I’m also interested in your real estate experiences and have learned from your housing-related posts. How is the selling process going so far in San Jose?

    As someone who moved from the South Bay to a Pasadena-adjacent area, I can tell you that my world opened up and I’ve been able to buy two houses here (one primary and one rental) as compared to only being able to rent in the Bay Area. While prices have gone up, there are still pockets of affordability in LA. Have you found the process any better or worse in SoCal? I know you were planning on submitting an offer. Just remember—the right house will find you.

    • jordanreid

      Thank you – I’m trying, anyway. Ugh 🙂

      The sales process is still all shaking out, so I’m going to hold on writing about it until we’re through, but then yes – absolutely will share how it went. And it turns out that I’m likely not going to buy right away; I sat with the idea for awhile and realized that as much as I love fixing up homes and and as much as being a homeowner is kinda central to…well, my life and what I do – it’s just smarter to maintain some flexibility and hopefully have a little extra cash to invest in figuring out what the hell I’m going to do next, haha. (Haha?)

      • Val

        Dang it! 😉 I was just thinking this morning that I’m super excited to see how you renovate and decorate the new house (if you ended up snagging the one in your IG story – those dreamy beams and sweet pool area, ahhhh)! But I’ll be just as happy seeing how you decorate your new place, if you end up in a rental. 🙂 Totally makes sense to hold off on buying for a bit; what a huge commitment, especially on your own. Here’s hoping everything works out in whatever way feels right to you! <3

        • jordanreid

          I GOT THE HOUSE WITH THE BEAMS. It was a rental, but I was still so, so excited to decorate it.
          …And then I lost it, because I couldn’t move fast enough to sign the least because of circumstances beyond my control.
          Back to square one.

          • Val

            I’m sorry. I’ve been there (though not with kids included in the mix), and I understand how soul-crushingly frustrating it is when you feel like you’re doing everything right and getting nowhere. The worst kind of stress is when circumstances are beyond your control. It’s completely different from dealing with stressors you can do something about. Aaaaanyhoo those beams were dreamy, but you’ll find something even cuter, I bet. Rooting for you over here. <3

  • Rachel

    Hi Jordan, For a few years I’ve been following you and your stories of your wonderful family. Like so many readers, I was saddened to hear the news of your separation and how this has been such a difficult time (thank you for sharing it all!). I know this is an incredibly personal topic and you don’t “owe” your readers anything … but I’d love to know if you have any advice for those of us at the life stage of picking a partner/deciding if we should get married. Did you foresee anything like this happening? Are there “red flags” to look out for? Was there a conversation you wish you had earlier or something you wished you had discussed? (I know having kids adds a whole additional level of complexity.) I relate to you in many ways and would love to learn from your experiences. The future, in general, makes me anxious, and heading down life’s path with another person by my side, sometimes feels scary. I know you said you’d write about your experience when things have settled down a bit, but do you have any general advice about marriage and the decision of who to marry, in the time being? I loved reading about you and K’s dating/wedding, which all seemed quite natural and “meant to be.” I’m a firm believer that things happen for reasons and the universe will help guide us all! Thank you and sending best wishes your way!

    • jordanreid

      Oh, man – that’s a good question. I think the answer is less about choosing the *exact* right person, and more about an openness to evolution. My parents have been married for forty-some years, and I’ve asked them many times how they do it, and you know what they say? “We changed, but we changed together.” They tried new things, and went on adventures, and allowed each other to evolve…but they stayed curious about each others’ evolution.
      Since we got married, I have changed into what feels like an entirely different person. I’m sure that hasn’t been an easy thing to keep up with, and I think maybe we just…didn’t change together. And when you’re both fighting against each others’ essential nature, that’s a breeding ground for resentment.

      • Rachel

        I hear ya. I never believed that there was “that one special person” out there but that we make decisions every day about how we live our life and sometimes that means a lot of change. It’s a winding path indeed. Thank you so much for your response and the beautiful pictures you paint with your words. You are very much loved and appreciated for the person you are today. Don’t ever forget that.