DIARY

What To Do: When You’re Newly Separated and Your Husband Has the Kids

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Remember the other week, when Kendrick had the kids and I was all I have no idea what to doooooo? Well, he had the kids again this weekend, and I went ahead and figured that one out.

So, because these are the big questions in life, here is what to do if you have found yourself newly separated, and do not have your kids for a bit. (I put in step-by-step format, because I consider everything here to be essential.)

niyama sol rainbow leggings

Go to yoga. Twice. Definitely wear your rainbow pants.

what to read summer 2018 best beach books

Afterwards, go to a bookstore. Buy all the books you’ve been wanting to read, and then sit yourself down right there in the bookstore and read one. For as long as you want.

what to read summer 2018 best beach books

Go home and read some more, because you can.

Sunday somewhere valentine ale sunglasses

Drive over to the mall and finally get prescription lenses for your sunglasses, because when the hell else are you going to have time to sit in LensCrafters for an hour?

Eat sushi by yourself. (Take a discreet/terrible photograph, obviously.)

go see a movie by yourself

Go to a movie that is not rated PG and does not have any cartoon characters in it. Be sure to go to one of those theaters where they basically give you a fully reclining personal couch (with self-heating seats!). Buy popcorn that you do not have to share. Put extra butter on it. Eat it all.

what to do when you're newly separated and your husband has the kids

Allow your girlfriends to convince you to go out to dinner. Wear heels, because you (probably) won’t end up carrying anyone around on one hip.

biscuits, bacon and butter at orchard city kitchen

Definitely go somewhere that has “biscuits, bacon and butter” as a menu item.

dinner at orchard city kitchen girls night

Feel loved, and happy, and peaceful.

Know that said peace is oh, so fleeting, and so enjoy it all the more.

  • Melodie

    Jordan – Sounds like the pefect day for one! I couldnt have planned anything better myself. A solo day out for me also includes something like yoga (or pilates), and coffee w/ a croissant, and a movie matinee and buying myself a treat, usually its shoes. And then i’ll choose one of several guys to take me for an evening drink. Being single can be so nice at times! You continue to inspire. Thank you for sharing so much of your life.

    • jordanreid

      melodie, that’s so sweet of you to say. thank you <3

  • m

    This is lovely! but I believe you should be able to do this even if not separated! The main barrier can be guilt, but self care is so important and shouldn’t be compromised. Now that I’m pregnant with our first, my husband and I decided that I should stop working and stay home for a while once the baby is here. I’ve read here and all over how hard it is to find a balance with kids/house work/marriage/yourself, so I told my husband that the only way for me to stay home is to have time for myself. Obviously this might sound crazy and probably impossible, but our plan is for him to take care of the kid for 1-2 hours after work so I can sleep/shower/rest, and one afternoon every weekend for me to go out and do whatever I want.

    I really, really hope you find happiness, and if this time apart from your husband helps you figure it out, then good for you! I also hope you have an update for us soon and it is all good and happy news for your family.

    • jordanreid

      I agree COMPLETELY, and am only just recently starting to realize (thanks to therapy and, you know, self-reflection) that I was a big part of why I felt so unable to connect with things that make me happy. I had this whole narrative going where I had all this work (kids, house, job, whatever) to do, and if *he* wasn’t going to do it than SOMEONE had to do it (–> resentment), and so I just literally never stopped. and I think a lot of that was trying to sort of get ahead of potential arguments, but an equal part of it was me trying to make a point (I’M SO CAPABLE AND BUSY AND YOU DON’T APPRECIATE ME, or whatever).
      regardless of how this all shakes out, I think there’s a lot of positive change that will come from this total reevaluation of our lives.

      • Heather

        Oh goodness Jordan, that’s exactly how I feel and pick fights all the time because I can’t do it all!! A response to me today was that he would take time off work and I could just leave for a few days for myself and I felt so bad to even consider that, but maybe I should! Being a stay at home mom for 4 years (and with 2 kids now), I really should give myself a break! Making time for myself shouldnt be stessful and a last priority. Thanks so much for sharing your life at this moment, I believe that a lot can relate whether separated or not. Keep being you xo

        Aaand, I also wanted to say I loved reading about the last name post…I have way to much to say about that backwardness in society so thanks for bringing it up!

  • Beffgus

    Oh man, for some reason my bookmark for your site didn’t update to your most recent posts for a couple of weeks and I was getting worried! I follow you on IG so I knew nothing drastic had happened, but glad to see you are still posting! And practicing some well-deserved self care!

    • jordanreid

      I heard that from someone else too! I’m so sorry – that’s so weird. glad you stuck with me, haha 🙂 can you tell me what browser you use so I can have my development team investigate?

      • Beffgus

        Chrome

        • m

          oh it happens all the time and I also use Chrome. I have to refresh several times before I see anything new.

  • Anon

    I hope for the best for both of you and the kids. I mean this in the best way possible, I miss Kendrick 🙁

    • jordanreid

      me too.