All I Do Is Win, Win, Win, Win, Win

At some point, I think it is crucial that we recognize the limits of our parenting, embrace them, and act accordingly.

One way to do this: by opening the refrigerator, observing the vast quantity of potential dinner ingredients therein…and then shutting the door, turning on the oven, and making pizza (and calling the tomato sauce on top of it a vegetable because CLEARLY it is, and also everybody loves pizza and so nobody fights about what’s for dinner and for a single glorious moment, life is calm).

(Also please go ahead and serve that pizza on paper plates because kids do not appreciate pretty dishes and also do not wash them unless they are of sink-reaching height and more amenable to the concept of chores than oh, say, my children.)

Make sure to scroll down to the bottom for info on a SUPER fun giveaway that includes a leather jacket (!) and aviator sunglasses and patches celebrating your awesomeness

The pizza brand Red Baron has decided to celebrate the fact that totally spectacular mom wins come in all shapes and sizes, including the following:

  • Knowing when nothing will help except screen time
  • Learning the exact right moment to pull the “ask your father” card
  • Swooping in from behind with a napkin to deal with a tiny, chocolate-y face
  • Holding your hair up with a chip-clip (no shame)

Et cetera.

Red Baron pizza introduces the baroness

Nothing cuter than pizza dribble.

All of these glorious accomplishments are ones that I personally revel in on the regular, so when Red Baron asked me to throw a mini pizza party for a couple of my girlfriends, I was IN. I mean, why in the world would I decline to embrace an evening filled with three things I love oh, so very much? Specifically:

  1. Pizza that is delicious and that I do not have to make myself, by hand;
  2. Wine (all);
  3. Patches.


Red Baron pizza introduces the baroness

The patch that I decided should be mine: The “Because” patch.


Because I said so.



Nothing better than shutting it down with zero logic or explanation necessary. As a bonus, the “Because” rationale also introduces the suggestion that you are not, in fact, a mere mortal, but actually an all-powerful goddess-creature capable of shaping the universe with your voice.

If you’re curious what patches my girls won: Alisa gets the “Nailed It” patch because she preeeeetty much always does (yes, it is annoying, but credit where it’s due, etc), and Erin gets two patches: “No” and “OK.”


Red Baron pizza introduces the baroness

We all have our talents. And talents – especially when they get us through another day reasonably clean, decently caffeinated, and at least semi-functional – should be celebrated.

And now? Here is a giveaway to celebrate YOU.

Red Baron is giving one of you guys a custom Baroness #WingMama Kit, which will include the following: 

A customized leather jacket featuring your favorite patches (!)

1 Baroness Red lipstick

1 red Baroness scarf

1 pair of Baroness aviator sunglasses

2 Red Baron Pizza coupons

To enter, just share a parenting war story of your own in the comments below. 

Contest open to U.S. and Canada residents only, and closes on 12/8/17 at 5PM PST. Winner will be notified via email. (Make sure to use your real email so I can get in touch with you if you win – it won’t be used for any other purpose.) 

P.S. The video below is legit hilarious. Give it a watch if you need a little inspiration for your contest entry.

This post was created in collaboration with Red Baron.

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