Gift Ideas For Someone Who Is Just Like My Husband

(Just went ahead and had Kendrick write this one.)

Gift Ideas For Someone Who Is Just Like Me. 

by Kendrick

For this holiday season, I’m just going to spurn the spirit of inclusion for the moment. And so I give you:

The “Make Kendrick Happy Again” holiday gift guide.

For Kendrick.

As in, this is exactly what I want.

Scratch that, let’s start with what I need.  First off, I need sleep. Which brings us to…


A VR Headset

Seriously, any headset. VR blows my mind, and AR* has seen better days.

*Actual Reality


A Vizio Soundbar

The soundbar because I’m done with not understanding TV dialogue, and Vizio because I’m cheap.


Anything by Sphero

Well, specifically R2-D2.  We have BB-8, and he’s seriously hilarious.  And, well, I just want an R2-D2 that I can make move around and sound like he just got zapped, which is super funny, ok?  And BB-8 would love him.

What does this have to do with getting more sleep?  I totally forgot that was the prompt, probably because sleeping is boring and makes me think of playing with toys. But whatever.  This is my list. So there.


A Pull-Up Bar

What else do I need? Exercise!

I ain’t getting any younger, you know. And I’m an old-fashioned “Push-ups, Sit-ups, and Pull-ups are Good Enough for Me” kind of guy.  Except I can’t do pull-ups at home, so I always wait until I can go the gym at work, and then, well…you know.

I don’t.

So I’m getting a pull-up bar. Since this is my first foray into pull-up bar-dom, I literally googled “best pull-up bar” and picked this one because this one said it’s indestructible and versatile.  (but mostly because it’s cheap.  I don’t think I care about the fanciness of my pull-up bar. I’d probably feel better about myself if I built one from a young sapling from my childhood farm.  So. In absence of that, I’m getting a cheap pull-up bar and I’m going to use the heck out of it, darn it.

And yes, I’m buying it on ebay – why? Because I work for eBay? No! Because eBay’s awesome! That’s right.



Moving on to things I want, but don’t technically need (because we’re in the process of teaching our three-year-old this concept, I assume I should practice what I preach).

I want to take some lessons.  I’ve currently narrowed it down to: scuba lessons, sailing lessons, manual driving lessons, motorcycle riding lessons, Kung Fu classes, slide guitar lessons, and carpentry lessons.

So, since I can teach myself manual (if you want to make an omelette you have to break a few transmissions, amiright?), I can just get a motorcycle and figure it out (#solidplan), since I have a bottle and a guitar and access to YouTube, since I have tools and wood and the images of 1,000 Ikea dressers dancing through my head, and since a guy I work with told me I was too old to learn Kung Fu because my “System 1” brain is like an old dog that can’t learn new tricks…

I’m leaning toward Kung Fu.

I know nothing, but think this place and this place look pretty cool.  And then, one day, I can be like my hero Keanu Reeves, and utter the phrase, “I know kung fu.”


Something Good

Back to one more “need” for a moment.

These organizations do great things in the world, and they deserve my support.

But really, what I want to do is go somewhere myself and help with my own hands.  And I really really really want to do that with my kids. So this holiday season, I’m going to take my son and daughter to volunteer.

I figure I’ll pick from this list, which looks like exactly what I want to do.  See you there?


Episode VIII Tickets

In IMAX.  Which come with a free Star Wars poster on Fandango.

Just kidding, I already bought them.


NES Mini Console

It’s like $30 now. Reliving Kendrick’s 1992 is now only $30 on eBay (what’s up eBAYYYYYYY!). Reliving Kendrick’s 1996 might cost you more than $120. So which Bill Clinton term do you like best?


Money Clip

I have a George Costanza wallet.  And I’m ready for everyone in my life not to tell me that anymore.

Come to think of it, my grandfather gave me a money clip with a diamond in it back when I was in high school, and I still have it.  I think I’ll start using that.

Thanks, Grandpa. Miss you.


A Bike Rack

I haven’t had a bike, let alone many bikes, which would necessitate a bike rack, for quite some time, but now I have a bike, and I have delusions of wading across bubbling California streams, muddy bike on shoulder, birds chirping, and in the background is my Subaru Outback with a beautiful bike rack on top. This is the cheapest Yakima one, which looks fine to me.


A Squatty Potty

Hey, efficiency is important. And besides, I worked hard promoting these, guys. Show some love!


Rockport Shoes with Adiprene Soles

These are great for people who have to wear dress shoes but really wish they didn’t.

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