In case you weren’t sure, this is Beyonce, not me. I do have this sweatshirt though.
There have been approximately three zillion times in my life when I have definitively declared myself irreversibly opposed to A Thing, only to discover that said Thing is (annoyingly)…
kind of great.
In very loose chronological order, here are some examples of things I have stated that I am fundamentally not into, only to (extremely begrudgingly) have to admit that I was wrong about:
- The Internet
- Harry Potter
- Pasta sauce that isn’t Prego
- That thing where your car talks to you
- Being a grownup
- Friday Night Lights/The Tim Riggins Situation
- Meal-delivery services
- High-waisted pants
- Pants in general
- Purses that fit stuff in them
- Children in general
- Second children in particular
- Baby wipes
- Microfiber couches
- Clorox Bleach pens
- Irregular showering habits
- Wearing the same shirt all day that I wore to bed
- Not caring what that lady over there thinks
So basically I’m fully aware that every time I’m all “UGH I WOULD NEVER [insert completely acceptable thing that one might do],” I will probably one day have to be all “fiiiiiine I was wrong” because history has shown me that that is what happens. And yet I persist in these quantitative declarations of opposition because I am stubborn and enjoy few things more than being contrary.
If you have been reading here since the way-back beginning, you know that me and kale are essentially sworn enemies. Kale is my kryptonite, and I do not want to see it in my kitchen. And then last week I got a Blue Apron delivery that included kale and was thereby forced on pain of losing tens of dollars to cook and then consume kale, and DAMN IT it was delicious. Like, so delicious that I had to go seek out the ingredients to make the recipe on my own just a few days later, and then all of a sudden there I was: standing in line at Trader Joe’s…with kale in my basket.
After I made the pasta (to the mild horror of our dinner guests, who know that I do not typically voluntarily include shrubs in my meals), I realized I had extra kale sitting in my refrigerator. So I decided ugh fiiiiiine I’ll sauté (or whatever) it up so as not to waste food et cetera and DAMN IT it was delicious too. Which is just super annoying.
You know what I realized? My whole Kale-Hater identity (which has extended to the ironic wearing of kale-themed sweatshirts) is based wholly on a tiny episode in my life when I went on a (pretty legitimate, IMO) rant about juice cleanses and looped the innocent little leaves into my anger, because at the event where I was first introduced to the juice cleanse I was also served a plate of…wait for it…kale, and from that moment on kale was on my list of Things I Will Not Consume alongside cashew milk that is supposedly “as delicious as a milkshake!” (it is not).
Why, exactly, was I unleashing my rage against a harmless (and, as it turns out, rather tasty) piece of lettuce? Those are the big questions, kids.
Anyway, here is the recipe I tried last night to use up my leftover kale. It is so good. (Did I mention I hate being wrong?)
(A Recipe That I Inexplicably Do Not Hate And Actually Sort Of – Ssssh – Love)
What You Need:
- 6 cloves garlic, finely minced
- 1 large head of kale, stems removed and roughly chopped
- 1/2 cup white wine
- Juice of 1/2 lemon
- 1 tsp red wine vinegar
- Olive oil
- Salt & pepper
What You Do:
- Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large, heavy-bottomed pan, then add the garlic and saute 30 seconds to 1 minute, or until softened and fragrant.
- Add the white wine, kale, and lemon juice, season with salt and pepper to taste.
- Toss to combine, then cover and cook on medium 5-6 minutes, stirring occasionally.
- Just before serving, add red wine vinegar and toss to combine, adjusting seasoning as necessary.