Out Of Office

Took this photo on the Finding Nemo submarine ride and kind of love it.

P.S. This ride is the most adorable thing ever, and yet made my 2-year-old scream like Linda Blair.

P.P.S. The spinning teacups – my own personal Ride From Hell – went over much better with her.

P.P.P.S. Children are so weird.

This trip is too much fun. So much fun that I want to be on it rather than write about it – although ohhhh do I ever plan to write about it, because Disneyland, as it turns out, is simultaneously the most awesome place on the planet and a close rival to Ikea for Destination Most Likely to Leave Your Child Spread-Eagled and Screaming On the Ground.

See, we’re here for two full days, but I didn’t queue up any posts because I anticipated getting some writing time in at night. Which, sure, is a bit irresponsible, but for real: I couldn’t imagine that that we’d actually be at the park past 5PM or so. I mean: how does one spend ten hours at an amusement park with a four-year-old and a two-year-old who must nap if they are to remain functional (and then don’t nap because they can’t because Mickey Mouse is RIGHT OVER THERE AND IS THAT MINNIE?!?!?)?

Serious question.

family of four with two toddlers at disneyland

Kendrick’s face in this photo is my favorite.

Everyone knows that children leave Disneyland fall-down exhausted. But I’d like us all to please say an amen for those parents who carry said “exhausted children” (who – let’s just say this again – are being carried) for ten hours straight in 90-degree heat while subsisting solely on stolen particles of Mickey Mouse-branded Pop Secret and churros, and then being yelled at because Mom those are MY APPLE SLICES.

Obviously my children are making me completely insane, but that was going to happen no matter what. And the insanity is overwhelmingly outweighed by the fact that it’s essentially magic, getting to watch them experience Disneyland for the first time ever.

Anyway, we were at the park today from 10AM to 8PM, and now it’s two hours later and I’m sitting on the kitchen floor in a pitch-black AirBnB trying to type as quietly as possible so I don’t wake up two children who turned into human ping-pong balls sometime around when they were handed balloon animals shaped like light sabers.

I’m thinking, you know what? Maybe this would be a good time to go to sleep myself instead of, say, photo editing. So hey: just for today, how about you come hang out with me over on IG stories and Snapchat? (I’m posting different stuff to each.) I reallllly do not want to be that weird videotaping parent, but I also reallllly want to show you this trip. (Mostly the meltdowns.) (To my children: I apologize in advance that I am taking iPhone videos of you dissolving into excessively sugared puddles in the middle of Fantasyland, but when you are yourselves parents you will understand that when an afternoon ends with you doing a fireman’s carry with an apoplectic two-year-old while It’s A Small World (After All) plays on repeat in the background, the very best thing you can do is laugh. And take pictures.)

P.S. Now it’s an hour later. I totally just wrote about Disneyland instead of going to sleep early. Ooooops. Apparently I find this subject matter compelling.

  • kristinbooker

    Enjoy every single second of this. The living is offline. We’ll keep a light on for the thrilling accounts to come. 🙂