The Post I Wish I’d Read Before Having My Second Child


Here’s my response:

Dear J,

Our son wasn’t an easy baby or toddler, but in the months leading up to our daughter’s birth, suddenly everything changed. He grew up, or into himself somehow, and life started feeling not just ‘manageable,’ but fun. Easy in a way it hadn’t been in a long time. During the last couple of months before our daughter arrived, we arrived at this wonderful balance where we spent time together as a couple, had relaxed family outings, were romantic and happy and calm. I got back into reading, and there were peaceful evenings where we all just hung out together in the living room, actually enjoying ourselves, not just going going going.

I loved those moments, and I dreaded giving them up and returning to the madness of the baby stage. More than anything, though, I was scared that the new baby would take away from my relationship with Indy.

Read about my experiences with postpartum depression here

The first piece of good news is about the logistics of welcoming a second baby. I swear, leading up to our daughter’s birth everybody I talked to was all Woe Unto Thee, telling me stories of how crazy-difficult it was going to be, “more than twice as hard as one baby.” And granted, our daughter is a preternaturally easygoing kid, but regardless…I mean, no. Not even close to “more than twice as hard.”

(Keep reading…)

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