SNAPSHOTS

Best Laid Plans

I would like to live in this exact spot for the rest of my life, please and thank you.

PS Come hang out with me on Instagram, because the Wifi here is terrible but for whatever reason my phone works, and so Instagram is basically where I’ll be for the next couple of days.

*          *          *

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

Today was RIDICULOUS.

I’m laughing now that it’s over and I’m sitting in a bar in the company of some iced tea and steel metal drums, but let me tell you: I was not laughing at the time. Not even a little bit.

First, though, a digression. Let’s look at some pretty pictures, because it is REALLY pretty here.

key largo scubathoreau quoteScreen Shot 2015-03-04 at 6.08.30 PMflorida palm treeskey largoScreen Shot 2015-03-04 at 6.09.42 PM

Now.

See that happy and relaxed-looking person in that last photo up there? What she did not know was that about ten minutes after this photo was taken her boat would be in the middle of swells large enough that they would literally send her flying from side to side in the boat like a tiny little Raggedy Ann. She did also not know that these swells were so large that they would continue to throw her from side to side like a tiny little Raggedy Ann even when she was thirty feet below the surface of the water with a scuba tank on her back, staring at a shark (!) that went from being quite far away to being really quite close in a matter of seconds (thank you swells, please don’t do that again k?).

And she certainly did not know that these swells would cause her to become so seasick approximately one minute after exiting the water and returning to the boat that she would find herself literally dangling over the side of the boat in the I-just-drank-a-bottle-of-tequila position and doing things in front of people that should really only be done while all on your lonesome.

It wasn’t just me, guys. It was EVERYBODY. You know that scene in Bridesmaids? It was like that. I’m not even kidding; people were, like, pushing each other out of the way for the two prime leaning-over-the-side-of-the-boat positions.

Anyway, we’re fine now. I may skip the ceviche tonight in favor of, like, bread…but we’re fine.

(My ego perhaps a little less so. The most mortifying part: our guide was a Marine. Not, like, a “Marine,” like an actual Marine. And I’m all oooooo the swells are too much for me oooooo let me lay down. Sigh.)

It was also pretty funny.

You know, in retrospect. At the time, not so much.

(We’ll try again tomorrow.)

powered by chloédigital